What Sets Texas Apart from the Rest

a) you see businessmen wearing suits with cowboy boots and a cowboy hat.
b) you can't get pork or chicken barbecue. It's all about beef.
c) you hear people continually refer to "God's Country."

Answer: All of the above.

The people, the food, the salsa, the music, the cacti, the dust storms, the tumbleweeds, the rattlesnakes, the rattlesnake rallies, the rich culture and language, the dancing, the rodeos, the "down-home, how-ya' doin' " friendliness: It's all there, and it's all for real.

There is something about Texas and so many things unique to the state and its natives (and happy transplants) that make it really stand out.

First, the people are no-nonsense, absolutely "what you see is what you get," completely unpretentious, and very passionate about their state. They also make visitors or newcomers feel very much at home with their air of open, friendly simplicity.

Also, if you don't mind a little active weather here and there, stay a while and actually experience all four seasons - a phenomenon many other states can't offer - and sit back and watch the show.

This state brings you an oven-like, arid heat in the summer and a bone-chilling cold wind in the winter. Foliage changes color, as it should, in autumn; and a Texas spring is both comfortably warm and dry when the sun's out. And a whirling dervish of driving rain, thunder, and fierce lightning erupts when that hot air meets with cold, coming straight down at you in "tornado alley."

Most people think of Austin, the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, Houston, San Antonio, Corpus Christi and even 'Old El Paso' when they consider taking a trip to The Lone Star State.

West Texas, the Davis Mountains, also known as the "Texas Alps," is an extremely well-kept secret: it's one of the best places in the state to visit for an interesting change of scene and a bit of an education, as well.

The highest elevation in the Davis Mountains is 8,378-foot Mount Livermore, where one of the largest and most technologically advanced telescopes in the nation stands. The University of Texas McDonald Observatory was built on Mount Locke in 1932, and the Davis Mountains State Parkway, offering an easy, winding drive up the mountains, was established two years later.

And just down the road, far as the crow flies, is the little city of Marfa, made local-proud as the setting for the 1956 George Stevens film, Giant, starring Rock Hudson, Elizabeth Taylor, and James Dean; and throughout the paranormal world for the mysterious "Marfa Lights" that parapsychologists, UFO enthusiasts, astrophysicists and others still look for in the dark, night sky - and to this day remain a mystery.

But before you set out, whether to Austin's music mecca or Corpus Christi's beaches, it's probably a good idea to brush up on "Texan-ese," the euphemisms and general, everyday Texas way of speaking; a type of speech unique to native and happily transplanted Texans. (Unofficially, established Texas residency for transplants is 10 years, just enough time to be able to get away with using these expressions, by the way.)

There are plenty of ways to recognize a native Texan: Memorize these indigenous sayings, and you'll be able to strike up a conversation with people in no time, with no awkward pauses or strange looks.

Most of these are self-explanatory: If you can't figure one out, just keep quiet, and never ask what it means:

Ugly as homemade sin.
Older than two trees.
Dumb as a box of rocks.
Cute as a possum.
Happy as a gopher in soft dirt.
Hidden in the basement like a crazy aunt.

These are also often-heard expressions and old adages you might be better off familiarizing yourself with ahead of time:

"Never ask a man if he's from Texas. If he is, he'll tell you on his own. If he ain't, no need to embarrass him."
"Evil thoughts are like chickens - they come home to roost."
"You can always tell a Texan, but you can't tell him much."
"I want you to jump when I say frog."
"Tend to your own knittin'/rat killin'."

Despite the heat that will cause your car rear-view mirror to come off in your hand while you're just trying to adjust it, and the lack of pork barbecue, it's really a very fine place indeed.

But even if for some reason you don't think so, never tell a Texan. You've been forewarned.