What is a Soul Mate?

Everyone is looking for a soul mate. So, why is it that is seems so few have found one? Maybe it is because very few people really understand the definition of the term "soul mate".

Many believe that a soul mate is the person who matches you perfectly, you never disagree with them and everyone rides happily off into the sunset with their perfect match. While that makes for a lovely fairytale, real life seldom works out that way and even less often with a soul mate.

Among many in the New Age movement the belief is that a soul mate is someone who has agreed to meet you here on earth to help you learn a certain life lesson that you need in this lifetime. Instead of these relationships being the easiest you will ever encounter they are often the most difficult and painful relationships of your life.

Misconceptions About Soul Mates

My Soul Mate Will Be The Great Love Of My Life

Your soul mate as the "one" and the love of your life is a nice romantic notion but it's not an accurate idea. Soul mates can come in many forms and from many different areas of your life. They can be friends, relatives, co-workers, enemies and yes even that pain in the butt mother-in-law has the potential for being a possible soul mate.

There Is Only One Soul Mate For Each Of Us

Again this is not an accurate idea. We have many soul mates through our lives and we usually encounter several during our lifetime. Think about the people that you just can't forget, for good or bad reasons, these people are usually your soul mates. Who was that teacher in third grade that taught you to love math when you hated it? Have you ever forgotten them? Not likely, do they still continue to touch your life every day? Probably so, that is a sign of a soul mate.

That mother-in-law that grates on your nerves and you can't seem to be in the same room with her without your blood pressure rising, maybe without any real reason but her mere existence irritates you? She pushes buttons you never even realized you had until you met her. That is a true soul mate. Your spouse or romantic can be a soul mate and yes, sometimes these relationships last a lifetime but not before you have some of the roughest lessons of your life with them. This is the person that can bring you the greatest joy of your life but also the greatest pain of your life.

Purpose Of A Soul Mate

Your soul mate is not here to make life easier for you, at least not in the beginning. Their role is to make you uncomfortable with the status quo. It is their job to help you learn lessons that will see you through life. It might be the teacher that teaches you math when you really hated it and you might have even hated that teacher but the lesson has never left you. Often lessons come from friends, family and romantic that have to do with our own growth, such as setting boundaries, saying no, putting yourself first and knowing when to walk away from something that is hurting you and yes, sometimes even accepting people for who they are instead of who we wish they are.

These lessons are often painful and sometimes we refuse to learn them the first time. Not learning these lessons ensures that the next soul mate that comes along will also be sharing another lesson with us and it's usually more difficult than the one before.

Instead of looking for your soul mate, you may find yourself better served to look for the lessons that come with them, learn them and get on with your life so when the love of your life does come along it won't matter if they are a soul mate or not because the lessons have been learned and now you can focus on having your heart mate with whom you can enjoy the growth you have achieved with the lessons of life that you took the time to learn before your perfect mate arrived in your life.