What is Spirituality? A Guide for the Perplexed

Many people are perplexed about the term "spirituality" and have trouble understanding just what the term means and how it's important for psychological health. For many of us, spirituality conjures up images of new age gibberish. For others it brings up early memories of alleged spirituality from families equally committed to cocktail hour and church or synagogue attendance.

When I look at the word "spiritual" in the thesaurus, I'm given synonyms for the word spiritual such as ethereal, airy, holy, and religious. These words lead right to the back alleys of despair and cynicism. I personally think of "ethereal" and "airy" as having no substance, and "holy" and "religious" smack of established religious groups' hypocrisy. A woman I know is struggling to overcome many symptoms of self-sabotage. She is a child of alcoholics who has worked very hard over the years to build a life for herself. She is currently struggling to write plays and music. She's very gifted, has received a great deal of acclaim from the public, but becomes very frightened when she's doing well and writing her best work. She asked me what I thought she could do to combat her demons of self-destruction and self-defeat.

I suggested to my friend that she take a spiritual approach to her problem, especially because the psychological approach had become self-limiting for her. She looked at me like I was from Mars, and couldn't imagine what I meant by a spiritual approach. "Being the best you can be is the right thing to do." Whatever your beliefs about God and creation, you've been endowed with great gifts. It's simply incorrect to not use them and share them with the world. Allowing the demons of your family to stop you is basically ungenerous, unappreciative, and unkind, to yourself and to the family of mankind."

My friend took in what I had to say with amazement. She said that in all the years she worked with a therapist, the issue of spirituality had never emerged. She said she'd give this a try. My friend began using this approach, and basically has meditated on the spiritual correctness of pushing herself past her patterns of avoidance and self-deprivation. This is what I mean by a spiritual approach, and this is how I relate spirituality to mental health and recovery of all kinds.