What to Do When Your Spouse Gains Weight

It's hard to watch your spouse gain weight. And it's even harder to brooch the subject. On one hand, you don't want to hurt his or her feelings by mentioning (or harping on) the weight gain; and on the other hand, you don't want to stand idly by watching your loved one balloon.

We all know that we should avoid saying anything insulting. Statements like "Look how big you are!" and "Of course you look fat in those pants, you are fat." would obviously do more to hurt the situation than help it. Unfortunately, rather than say the wrong thing, we avoid the subject altogether.

Although avoidance might seem like the lesser of two evils, it's really not the healthiest route to take. Weight gain, particularly if it's excessive, can lead to a myriad of health problems. Think about the threat of heart disease, asthma, joint replacement surgeries, and (in extreme cases) premature death when you think about helping your spouse to lose weight.

It's critical that you help your overweight spouse maintain a healthy weight. Since the weight-gaining/overweight spouse is often highly sensitive about the situation, don't nag. In fact, a covert approach might be the wisest and most effective method.

Here are some things you can do to help you spouse lead a healthier lifestyle:

Cut back on the amount of junk food in your house. Don't do it all at once- that would be way too obvious. But take an honest inventory of how much junk food is in the grocery bags you bring home.

How to do it: There's a good chance that you could reduce the number by one (bag of chips, box of freezer treats, or package of baked goods), and no one would notice. Once everyone's used to that, reduce the amount again.

How to deal with negative reaction. 1. Play dumb: "No more chips? Really?" 2. Use avoidance: "Oh, we're out of chips? Put it on the list- I'll go shopping on Saturday." 3. Stand your ground: "Yeah, I forgot to tell ya that I had a coupon for Reduced Fat Pringles. They're pretty good, aren't they?"

Add healthy foods to your groceries. Don't do this all at once, either. Not only would bags and bags of fresh fruit and vegetables be way too obvious, it would probably play havoc with your spouse's digestive system.

How to do it: Start slowly, and start on a positive note. I'm sure that there are some healthy foods out there that your spouse truly enjoys. Get out of the unhealthy rut by bringing some home! Healthy foods can sometimes be expensive, especially if they're off-season, so asparagus or cantaloupe really are a treat!

How to deal with negative reaction: If you choose wisely, your spouse won't know what you're up to in the beginning. Once he or she catches on, get defensive: "Is there something wrong with having healthy foods? Does this corn-on-the-cob offend you?"

Be active during your leisure time. It seems like sitting in front of the TV snacking has become the Great American Pastime. Understandably so: it's affordable and easy. But now it's time to make a change and get active!

How to do it: There are so many ways to be active, and most of them are free! You can take a walk- indoors or out- ride a bike, shoot hoops, swim, golf, play bocce, lift weights, dance, badminton... anything you can think of- the list is endless!

How to deal with negative reaction: If your spouse's leisure time is spent lying on the couch eating, this may be a tough change to make. Start by thinking of what your spouse is most likely to get on board with. For example, would your wife prefer a romantic walk or a night on the town dancing? Would your husband enjoy walking around at a car show or would he rather pitch horseshoes?

Watching a spouse engage in self-destructive behavior is not a sign of love. Even though approaching weight loss with an overweight spouse can be an explosive situation, you need to do it. Break the weight-gain cycle by joining your spouse in a healthy lifestyle.