What to Do when Your Spouse Wants Children but You're Not Ready

Ideally, no child would be brought into this world without two parents who wanted him or her desperately. However, this is often not the case. If you truly feel that you are not ready for a child, then you should stick to that decision. Agreeing to have a child to please your spouse won't turn out well for anyone in the end. I realize that when you love someone deeply, you want to give him or her the world. In this case, however, you are not only dealing with your own lives, but the life of an innocent child as well. A child should not be thought of as a means of strengthening your marriage.

Communication is key in this situation. You need to sit down and talk with your spouse about why you feel that you aren't ready to have a child. Maybe you are concerned about the cost of raising a child, the negative impact becoming a parent might have on your career, or even the effect that a child will have on your marriage.

You have every right to your feelings and having doubts does not make you a selfish person. On the contrary, your spouse may be desperate for a child, but not willing to take into account the extent to which becoming parents will change both of your lives. Some people fall in love with "the idea" of having a child, but aren't really ready to face the responsibility that comes along with it. Let your spouse know how you feel and why you feel that way. They are more likely to accept and support your decision if they understand your reasoning.

In some cases, you may be ready to have a child in the near future, when you have achieved more financial stability or relocated to a place that is more suitable for raising children. However, some people may never be ready. Maybe they have children from another marriage, feel that they are too old, or just don't desire to be a parent. When this is the case, it is very important that you are upfront with your partner and also that you make sure that your partner is really hearing you. Many people believe that their partner will eventually change their mind as they mature or as your relationships grows. If you are certain about your feelings, then make your partner understand that you will not be changing your mind under any circumstances.