What is Stairstep Thinking?

A great method of managing feelings of anger ties in closely with the SPAM Method and also with the suggestion that Tim gave to Blake in the story called "Angry Blake." It is a method called STAIRSTEP THINKING.

Here is how Stairstep Thinking works. Let's say that you are furious because you got grounded or someone picks on a family member, or someone stands you up, or someone calls you a bad name, or a kid is ordering you around. You are now, figuratively speaking, standing at the bottom of the staircase, feeling very angry!

It is really hard to stop feeling angry when you are feeling angry. If someone says, "Just don't think about it," you find that almost impossible. That is like someone telling you, "Don't think about pink elephants!" Well, of course, you are going to think about pink elephants.

So it is quite difficult to stop thinking about what made you angry; however, you can change the subject in your mind. You can distract yourself by thinking of something totally different. For example, let's say that you like this really cute girl or this really cute guy! Just thinking about the compliment he or she gave you or the date you had or how happy that person makes you feel might give you a real lift. It might be enough to help you to leap to the top of the stairs, feeling light and happy again. Or more realistically, it might get you up one or two steps, so to speak, to feeling slightly better.

Are you one of those people who takes great pleasure in occasionally indulging in 'comfort food'? So perhaps at lunchtime or for an after school snack, you have a snack that you find very delicious! This might be enough to send you to the top of the staircase where happiness awaits. Or perhaps this just makes you feel slightly better and you have gone up one more step of this staircase, figuratively speaking.

Is music one of the things that makes you feel happier? Perhaps you play an instrument or sing. Maybe you simply like putting on music that thrills you in some good way. If you are at school, perhaps you hum a tune or recall the song inside your head. When you get home, you listen to this music or play this instrument or sing at the top of your lungs. This might now be enough to send you to the very top of the staircase where happiness and peace and contentment awaits.

Your personal staircase can be a 2-step staircase or a 4-step staircase or a 10-step staircase. It will be different for each person and for each situation. You just keeping thinking about and doing pleasurable things until you feel better again. That is how Stairstep Thinking works.

How many steps do you think you would have to take to feel better again? List the kind of things you would want to do and think about to get you feeling happier again. Keep this list handy.

The next time, you feel angry or unhappy in some way, pull out this list. Then involve yourself in concentrating on the items on your list until you once again feel stable and at peace.

You might enjoy the other articles on this and similar topics

More about Stairstep Thinking and Virtual Reality(coming soon)

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Anger Management Role-play: SPAM and Stairstep Thinking