What to Talk About on the First Date

Whether you are 16 or 66 a first date can be awkward. This may be your very first date ever, or it could be the first date after a divorce. You have probably spent hours getting ready for the date and felt all of the pre-date jitters. It is important that you relax and understand that your date is probably just as nervous as you are.

Knowing what to say or what to talk about on a first date is not as complicated as it seems. It is also not as easy as it sounds either. You would think that small talk should come easily, I mean, small talk is exactly that, small, simple, and to the point. But, when you are considering small talk on a first date, it takes on a whole new meaning.

Learning what to talk about on a first date is simple. You first have to relax and try to be calm. You don't want to be so nervous that you are mumbling and mixing up your words. Once you have made one or two flubs like this you are bound to make more because now you will be embarrassed by the initial flub.

Second you will want to compliment your date. This can be as simple as saying "you look nice" to "the color of your blouse really brings out your eyes." Do not make too many compliments, you do not want to come off as being cheesy or fake.

After you are relaxed and have made a compliment, the next topic of conversation needs to be simple and not to personal. You are not ready to start getting personal with your date. Bring up some type of current event. Be yourself as much as possible. If you are not into pop culture, do not bring up pop culture. If you are not big into politics, do not bring up politics. It is tempting to try to talk only about things you 'think' your date will be interested in, the operative wording being 'think'. If you have heard an interesting story you can ask her if she has heard about it. If not, tell her the basics of the story and leave it up for discussion.

Once you have gotten past the above you are ready to move on to some more first date conversation topics. You can do a simple internet search that will bring up hundreds, if not thousands, of conversation starters. Some of the conversation starters you will find will be downright wacky. Make sure you monitor what tips and tricks you are receiving. Sometimes common sense will tell you that the tip or trick for first date conversation is ridiculous. However, sometimes you won't know how ridiculous the conversation starter is until you are met with an awkward silence from your first date.

It is possible that your first date conversation will go smoothly with little to no effort on your part. Sometimes things just fall into place and everything flows smoothly. But, most of the time you will find several silent and awkward moments no matter how hard you try. This is especially true if you try too hard to impress your first date. It cannot be said enough, "be yourself on your first date". If you are being yourself you will have nothing to prove later on.

Going on your first date as a teenager is going to be awkward no matter how much research you do. If you are a teenager you will have to accept the fact that your date will potentially filled with silent moments, sweaty palms, and a couple of embarrassing moments. That is ok. Your date is feeling the exact same way. It takes a lot of experience being in the dating world before you feel comfortable. But, even with the most experience you will still be susceptible to the awkward silences on a first date. You just have to roll with the punches and not let the moments make you a nervous wreck.

If you are going on a first date after a divorce you may feel awkward or scared. You may be scared that you are going to get hurt again. You may feel awkward because it has probably been years since you have been a date.

You might feel like a teenager again going on his or her first date. This is normal for anyone going on a date after a divorce. By this time you probably have lots of things to talk about; the only problem is deciding what to talk about exactly. With so much information bouncing around in your head you have to be careful not to try and talk about everything that has happened to you from the day you were born until this very moment. It is also not advisable to talk about your ex.

If your date asks questions about your ex and your divorce, then, by all means, tell your first date a little about your past relationship. You do not want to lie about the situation. But, you do need to try and refrain from talking too poorly of your ex. With that being said, you also want to refrain from talking extremely highly of your ex. Your first date may believe you still have feelings for your ex if you are telling your first date all the good things about your ex. On the other hand, if you are talking poorly of your ex, your first date may believe that you are still bitter about your divorce and not ready to be on the dating scene. Your first date does not want to feel like they are a rebound date.

The following are some quick tips for your first date:

Make eye contact when talking to your first date. Just make sure you are not staring. There is a difference between maintaining contact and blatant staring. Staring at your first date may make them very uncomfortable.

Ask and answer questions. Allow your date to answer your questions and give your first date the opportunity to ask you a question. A good conversation involves an equal balance of questions and answers from both parties.

Body posture is important. Relax and try to not be so tense on your first date. A relaxed body posture goes a long way for body language. Try not to cross your arms. Crossing your arms when conversing with someone sends a message that you are guarding yourself and closing yourself off to your date.

Just remember, the most important thing to do during your first date is to relax. Being relaxed on your first date makes everything else, including conversation, that much easier. The more relaxed you are, the more relaxed your date will feel. This all adds up to a great first date, and, hopefully the first date of many to come.