When we were growing up our parents, role models and teachers spent too much time and effort telling us how we would grow up to be lawyers and astronauts or doctors and senators. They kept pointing us towards careers like "rocket scientist" or "neurosurgeon."
No one spent a damned minute explaining how unlikely it was going to be that we'd actually get those kinds of jobs.
Meanwhile, they infused us with the American work ethic and taught us to derive our identity almost strictly from our jobs. Walk up to a dozen people on the streets of American and ask this question - "what are you?" Nearly all will tell you their occupation. Few will respond with - "a human being, jackass, what are you?" Or even with their gender, religion, geographical home site, or parental status.
I am not my job.
Repeat after me, "I AM NOT MY JOB!"
Didn't that feel good?
Being a human being, a lover, a father, a sister, a chess enthusiast, a giver of great hugs - any of those better describes any given man or woman in my opinion. Now that that is cleared up, why don't we teach children how to be happy doing whatever job they are good at and that puts food on the table?
Materialism.
Another path to unhappiness for the masses is materialism and consumerism and we hand it out in schools instead of candy. Children who have less stuff are looked down upon or pitied. In adult life people with less junk are scoffed at, made to feel less deserving of love and treated differently than their stuff hoarding brothers.
Many of those men and women working in modest paying jobs sit in their warm homes, watching television after their third meal of the day with their clean and literate children and despair that they aren't good enough people. They avoid their high school reunion because they didn't get a high-paying job and couldn't buy an expensive car or because they are ashamed of their jobs. They wind up deep in debt after buying products they don't need with credit cards they'll never pay off. They aren't happy providing necessary services, working with good people and having friendly employers - they want more stuff. It isn't good enough to have all of their needs and their family's needs met - they want more stuff.
Think about the last time you moved or helped someone move. Wow, what a lot of useless crap people have! There are lots of great tools like stoves, air conditioners and flush toilets and lots of neat toys like televisions and MP3 players but there's also a lot of just plain stuff. People have a certain amount, type and "quality" of stuff they feel they need. It goes back to letting things define who you are.
I am not my stuff. Neither are you your stuff. We are people, of equal value regardless of how much or what kind of stuff we have.
Now, let's get down to business.
I believe every child should be taught these principles:
*You are a unique, wonderful and valuable human being.
*Your thoughts and opinions matter.
*Things, material objects are never more important than people.
*Jobs are tools, ways to fulfill needs and wants.
*Jobs are ways to contribute, to aid, to entertain and to serve others.
*Each person can fulfill a necessary and important role in society.
*You are not how much or what kind of stuff you own.
*Your value as a human being is innate.
*Self-worth should come from actions rather than material objects.
Published by Kylyssa Shay
Kylyssa Shay spent 18 years as a professional floral designer and has aquacultured marine life for fun and profit. Ms. Shay is a freelance writer, an atheist and an avid life-long learner with unusual life e... View profile
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7 Comments
Post a CommentExcellent article. The only (minor) problem that I had was with this quote:
"Self-worth should come from actions rather than material objects."
I do agree about the material objects part, but what about thoughts and feelings as well as actions?
Thumbs up.
Teach your spawn to obey. Obey authority. Obey bureaucrats and the bureaucracies. Obey all authority eimply because it is authority. Obey your corporate masters. Obey your boss. Obey those with more weath than you. Obey America's elite class. Obey to avoid the jack-booted thugs. Know your lowly place you mere commoners. Just obey. Do not think. Obey.
Great list. I would add "qualities to look for in a life partner" or how to spot abusive men (and women). My generation females were expected to grow up and be housewives and mothers. Yet no one taught one how to go about finding the husband and father. Most of the job rules we learned back then no longer apply today. Teaching children to think outside of the box is probably better then teaching them the rules learned when the parents grew up.
I can't argue with what you are saying. While I have nothing against people having things, it is the connections to them that are causing problems. I think kids need more practical skills for living life and choosing how to live it. I think the school systems were better thirty or fourty years ago when I was going to school and I still was taught way too much useless crap. Heavan only knows what the young kids of today are learning. I hardly think most of it will be of any great use to them later in life. It is a shame.
You've spoken some truth here!
A magnificent article, Kylyssa. I, too, am a member of Gen X, and I did go on to become a lawyer. And did I ever hate it! In 2005, I gave up my lucrative practice, tossed out or gave away most of the "stuff" I had accumulated, and moved from NYC to Hawaii. I spent the best year of my life there, doing what I love - writing. I'm still winding down some legal cases in NY, then I'm moving back to Hawaii for good, and continuing to do what I love. This a great message, and I hope Gen Xers have learned enough from their parents' mistakes to pass it on to their children.