What Do You Think About During Sex? For Some Wives, the Answer is Everything Else

What could be better than making love to your husband? Well it turns out that for nearly two-thirds of married women, a lot of things. According to a survey by iVillage a surprisingly large percentage of married women would rather be doing something else while having sex with their husbands. Maybe more surprising is that more than 75% of these women report being relatively happy with their sex lives. So if these women are not unhappy with their partners, what is it that has so many ladies thinking about doing something other than their husbands?

Most likely it is the intrusion of an over-scheduled daily life that keeps many wives from being completely focused on the pleasure of being with their spouse. Unfortunately this focus on what needs to be done is robbing many women of the sheer pleasure that comes with being completely involved in the moment- especially during sex. But it doesn't have to be a lot of work to tune out the distractions and increase your pleasure. Here are seven simple tricks that will have you wondering why you would ever want to do anything else.

Get Your Head In It. We've all seen the studies and the articles that say for women sexual arousal is a mental process and it is. While sex is a multi-sensory experience, often it is our thoughts that really make the experience special. And as mentioned above there are often many distracting thoughts to get in the way. Make a habit of trying to clear your head before getting romantic. Need a little help re-focusing? Take a few minutes each day to look at pictures of your partner, reminisce about romantic dates, and even fantasize about some of the "steamier" times you have spent together.

Enjoy Your Body. One of the biggest challenges for many women is feeling self conscious about their naked bodies. Obsessing about that bit of cellulite on your thighs or the pooch left over from your children only interferes with your ability to enjoy the tactile pleasures of sex. Focus on the areas of your body that you find sexy and those that feel the best when touched. By becoming hyper-focused on what is great it will become easier to ignore those areas you think could use a little work. Still having trouble? Ask your partner to tell you what they like best about your body and why. The fresh perspective on your "flaws" might be just thing to bring about a new sense of confidence and what could be sexier than that.

Ask For Help. Now this may be my most controversial tip but the truth is that for many wives/mothers one of the biggest challenges to a more passionate sex life is all the lingering housework and parenting chores that need to be done. They create mental distractions, physical exhaustion, and a schedule that leaves few precious minutes for love-making. I am not suggesting some sort of barter system involving vacuuming for sex... I am suggesting that you be honest about the all the things that hold you back from intimacy and let your partner help you clear the obstacles.

Pre-Heat The Oven. For most men, physical arousal is merely a matter of thinking that they are about to get lucky, unfortunately for women the process is often a little bit slower. While skipping foreplay might help you get back to that book you were reading faster it also means that just as your body is warming up, your partner may be finished; leading to another good reason to be wishing you were somewhere else. But there is an easy solution- just as you do in baking, take a little extra time to pre-heat the oven so to speak. Whether you can simply think about the fun to come or you need a little more physical encouragement, don't be afraid to take the time necessary to make sure that not only your mind, but your body is ready for sex.

Take It Outside. Ok maybe not literally outside (the neighbors may not approve) but at least think about venturing outside the bedroom. I realize that this can be a challenge for those with children in the house but the change of venue can do wonders for shifting your mind from "wifely obligation" to "sexy adventure". Whether you just move from the bed to the floor or take a full tour of your home, remember that nothing holds your attention like doing something for the first time (or at least for the first time on the new couch.)

Dress the Part. I recently heard a morning radio show host talking about how his wife had thrown away all her thongs after having their first child because they were not "mom-appropriate". While I am not going to tell you what kind of underwear to put on, it is important to not let motherhood, weight gain, or simply a busy work schedule keep you from embracing all the ways you can be sexy. Clothes don't make the woman but they do impact how you feel about yourself. Whether it's a pretty new dress for date night, a sexy bra under your suit at work, or even a manicure and bikini wax; dressing for sex can help keep it at the top of your priority list.

Take a Nap. Over 40% of wives in the survey would rather sleep than have sex. While some husbands may take that as a comment on their skills, there is quite a bit of research to suggest that it really is just because women are tired. According to a study by the CDC, 1 in 10 Americans has not had an adequate nights sleep in the last month; it's no wonder that sleep sounds so appealing. Although we do not need sex in the same way we need sleep, a healthy relationship needs emotional connections and sex is generally a big part of that. One easy solution, get your partner to work with you to change the bedtime routine in your house. If getting to bed earlier means you can get more sleep and he can get more of you, odds are pretty good that he'll be on board for an earlier bedtime.