What to Do when Visitors See Your Newborn Baby

Birth is an exciting time for everyone and chances are that your family and friends will want to visit you and meet your new baby. In your pride and euphoria you will want to see them too, but you may find entertaining visitors extremely tiring in the early days. It isn't just the practical issues of not being able to sleep while visitors are in the house, or feeling self-conscious about feeding or handling your baby in front of other people, as every visitor will also come with their own feelings and agenda. New grandparents may be full of excitement about their new grandchild, already looking ahead to the fun times they will have and talking about who the new baby resembles and takes after. Friends, meanwhile, may want to catch up with all the recent news. You may find yourself feeling split between giving attention to your visitors and concentrating on your baby. It is not unusual to want to spend time Just holding and looking at your baby and starting to get to know him, and having to engage in conversation with visitors can get in the way of this.

Visitors will probably want to hold and cuddle your baby and to say "hello" in a personal way. Some parents find that they have very strong feelings about this - perhaps resenting the fact that their baby is being passed around like a parcel. With your heightened sensitivity as a new parent it may suddenly become very important that only those who have permission touch your baby.

Partners or another close family member may be especially helpful by taking charge and laying down boundaries for visitors. It can be useful to have a set of photographs available for visitors to look at while you find space in another room with your baby. At this early stage your baby's signals that he is ready to feed may be quite subtle and you need to spend as much time as possible focusing on him so that you don't miss early opportunities to get feeding established.

Considerate friends and family will understand that you need your rest and that short visits are better than long, drawn out ones. Visitors should also expect to be asked to help, by making refreshments and bringing in shopping for example. Most people who have had babies will remember their own experiences during this time and will be happy to help in this way.