What it was like Being a Single Mother in Brooklyn New York During the 1950s and 60s.

J.S. I was very busy, taking care of my two boys and working. People used to comment about how I had it so rough, and that it was a shame that I had no husband, and I would jokingly tell them, to their surprise, that I sometimes wish I had a "wife," someone to do my laundry, cook my meals, take care of the kids.

L.S. I take it a lot of people had opinions about your situation?

J.S. They used to tell me after my first husband died, that I would never find someone my own age, that I would have to marry an older man. When I met your father, he was one year older than me, and born one month apart.

L.S. How old were you when your first husband died?

J.S. I was twenty-eight, with two boys to raise.

L.S. Were there any resources for you as a widowed mother?

There was social security benefits for the boys. I had good friends. I had no help from family. My sisters were much younger than myself. I lived in Brooklyn and they lived in New York City.

L.S. Were job opportunities harder to come by for women?

J.S. I worked part time, and what I needed for myself and my situation, having two kids and no family help, was a part time job, which I found as a waitress. Being a waitress worked well for me. I got to come home around the time the boys were back from school, and was able to see them off in the mornings. I was also able to spend time with them on the weekends. The cost of living at that time was obviously way cheaper, but we still had the same hardships that single and widowed mothers face today, especially those with no support system. When there is no husband or family help, the responsibility falls on your shoulders, and at a young age, its much harder.

L.S. Was it more difficult living in Brooklyn vs. Manhattan to find work?

J.S. Not really. We had the trains, buses and subway. I didn't need to drive, and didn't learn how to drive, until I moved to Staten Island, and married your father. My new husband told me you have to learn to drive. I was thirty-six at the time. He tried to give me driving lessons, which didn't work because I didn't listen, and then I almost ran over the neighbor's son. Then I took driving lessons, and got down to business listening to the instructor!

L.S. Did living in Brooklyn vs. Manhattan make a difference in your quality of life?

J.S. During the early 60s, my neighborhood was like living in paradise. My neighbors were friendly and kind. We were white and black people, and lived together beautifully. When the Brooklyn race riots in the early 60's started, the protestors came into our neighborhood, and began destroying businesses and beating up business owners, with gangs, and went after everyone of all colors. When I had to go to work, or risk losing my job in Manhattan, I traveled on the train, right after one of the worst riots. I found myself alone, with the exception of one other young girl. We were the only ones on the train, and had to change trains in the business section of Brooklyn, near Bedford Stye. When we came up from the subway to get the L, we ran up the stairs to the platform and hid, looking around for any roaming gangs. This strange girl and myself were clinging to each other, terrified. Needless to say, I found a different way to get to work during this time. Unfortunately I also had to move to a different area of Brooklyn.

L.S. Who was your greatest role model, the one who influenced you most as a child, who helped to shape the strong woman you became?

J.S. My wonderful Italian Great Grandfather Tobias Chiefo. He was originally from Naples Italy, and when he became a citizen of America, he never looked back. He used to tell me as a child that this was the best country in the world, and God Bless America. He had a strong work ethic, and rose above various situations, such as the Depression, running his own businesses, a grocery store first, and then a neighborhood bar.

L.S. What are you most proud of during those years of living single?

J.S. The joy I felt of succeeding during those years and the feeling that myself and my sons were survivors together; and I made sure we also had a lot of fun too.

L.S. Do you think it was possibly a better situation for you than married women in the 50s, early 60s?

J.S. It was work, but on the same note, if I had a husband during this time, I would have had to possibly cater more to him than the kids, so it wasn't that bad. We did a lot of good things together.

L.S. What were some of the things you and the boys did when you weren't working?

J.S. We would go to Coney Island, go swimming too. They had the Brooklyn museum, and on Saturdays there was a program for kids. They were part of the Boys Club. I sent them there to keep them off the streets, and the Botanical Gardens in Brooklyn, near the museum was beautiful. We would go there to picnic and look at the scenery. We could walk there, from where we lived.

L.S. What advise do you have for single or widowed mother's of today?

J.S. Don't believe anything negative that anyone has to say about you. You know yourself better than anyone. If advise is positive, and beneficial to you, that's great. Feel respect for yourself, because your doing a tremendous job alone. I was taught to have respect for myself, and that no one could ever take this away from me, no matter what.