What to Wear to a Wedding

Wedding season is upon us. For those of us already happily married, or happily single, a wedding is simply a reason to celebrate: to witness a ceremony, to dance, to eat. But a wedding is not without its own stress for the guests...there is always the question every woman faces: what should I wear?

The answer is, it depends. It depends on whether the wedding takes place in a church, during the day or in the evening, whether the reception takes places in a four star venue (ala "Bride Wars") or at a more modest place.

There are, however, a few general guidelines. The first is color. Unless the wedding is a black tie affair held in the evening, wearing black is considered too severe, and to some people, inappropriate. Why? Because while black is universally chic, it is also considered a color of mourning---and at a wedding, this is not the message you want to send.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is the other color no-no, which is white. Since this is the bride's day, the focus should be on her---therefore, she should be the only one in white. This doesn't mean that any and all white is frowned upon. A white blouse OR a white skirt and shades of ivory or cream are perfectly acceptable. It's showing up in a pure white outfit that one should avoid.

Now that the generalities are out of the way, let get more specific:

Church/Religious wedding

This is the most formal of weddings, and the dress code is stricter than on other occasions. First, shoulders should be covered, and cleavage kept to a minimum. Popular looks include sheath dresses in pastel colors or floral prints. Those under 25 can get away with flashier prints and cuts. Sleeveless, halter or spaghetti strap dresses are fine when worn with a wrap, jacket, or shrunken cardigans.

Shoes should be formal---no flip flops (even if they are bejeweled) or flip flop "styles". The best outfit for this event? A floral print V-neck dress worn with a necklace and matched with one to two inch kitten heels.

Beach wedding

This is different from an ocean front wedding---in a beach wedding, you have to actually walk through sand to get to the ceremony. Because of the sand factor, and the casualness of the event, the dress code is a lot more relaxed. Stilettos are out, open toed sandals are in. Showing off your shoulders is OK. Think of fabrics and styles that rustle in the wind----gauzy fabrics, light cottons, butterfly sleeves, full skirts. Colors can be a little brighter, such as those found in Hawaiian or paisley prints. When looking for ideas in your closet or in a store, channel a luxe hippie, bohemian vibe.

A possible outfit is a halter style maxi-dress worn with a thong sandal, or a tiered skirt, flowy top and gladiator sandals.

Ocean front ceremony

When the ceremony itself is simply near the ocean, such as in a gazebo overlooking the beach, a slight adjustment is required. Fabrics should be a little more opaque, shoes should be less bare. A strapless dress (with a cropped cardigan in case of windy weather) and sandals would work.

Garden wedding

A wedding ceremony held in a private garden, or home, can be confusing. Is it formal? Casual? Unless the invitation says otherwise, assume this isn't the same as going over to someone's house for a BBQ. But the good news is, you probably already have something in your closet you can wear. Any dress you've worn for a graduation, or dinner at a nice restaurant (as long as it isn't all black) will be fine. If you want to make your outfit more wedding-specific, a hat is a nice touch.

City Hall wedding

A City Hall wedding is probably the only time pants are just as acceptable as dresses, and you will fit right in wearing dark colors, even black. The idea is to dress as though you are going to a job interview. Trouser-cut pants in wool gabardine or a lightweight fabric, with a jacket or sweater worn over a dressy blouse is just fine. As for jeans...while I've certainly seen people wearing jeans at City Hall, out of respect for the bride and groom, I would wear something else. A nice touch is to bring a bouquet to the ceremony, which you can give to the bride afterwards. It also looks nice in the photos.

Las Vegas wedding

OK, now I'm going to assume that this is a wedding that is actually planned---as opposed to a spur of the minute event at four in the morning. Deciding what to wear is still tough. Some people get married in a traditional ceremony in a chapel, and some people get married by Elvis. If the wedding is during the day, the weather is probably hot or sweltering hot. A sundress with sandals is fine, as is a mini skirt (as long as you have the legs for it). If the event is during the evening, you have the choice of wearing something embellished, or form fitting, or short. But not all three! This is also the time to break out the stilettos and sequined clutch bags.

These suggestions are fine for those who have an unlimited budget, or those who have only one wedding to attend. But what if you're lucky enough to have been invited to many weddings and you'd rather save your money for the wedding gifts?

The first suggestion is, shop your closet. Take out every dress, sandal, skirt, and blouse you own. Eliminate those made of wool, tweed or corduroy. Do the same with all white, or all black dresses. With what's left, try to mix and match with any lightweight shawl, jacket, or wrap. A summer dress that is too bare or too casual on its own can be paired with a coverlet or cropped cardigan, and worn with dressy shoes. A skirt in a what-was-I-thinking color can be worn under a longer tunic top for a beach wedding.

But if you can only buy a things? Start with a sleeveless dress in a pale pastel color like peach, baby blue or soft purple. A sheath or an A-line style is the most flexible. Change the look by belting it, wearing different wraps over it and changing shoes. J.Crew, Banana Republic, White House Black Market are all good places to look for dresses under $150. Need something under $50? The George line at Wal-Mart, Merona at Target and Vera Wang at Kohl's have well made options. Finally, thrift stores and consignment stores often have vintage, or vintage looking dresses for $20 or less. Thrift stores are also good places to look for those shrunken cardis that were all the rage several seasons ago. Look carefully for bridesmaid dresses---if you can find one without poufs or bows, the color is (obviously) perfect for a wedding.

Between travel, gifts and bachelorette parties, wedding season can take its toll on your budget. With a little advance planning, you can save money and look great.