What a Week it Was... (02-15-08 Edition)

Here are some stories from the past week that I found to be interesting, humorous and/or disgusting, along with a handful of headlines that I could not care less about. Most, if not all, of these stories were reported by the Associated Press (www.ap.org), Reuters (www.reuters.com) or some other credible news source.

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I guess people aren't as dumb as I thought

The Hottie & the Nottie, starring Paris Hilton, opened in 111 theaters last Friday and averaged $225 per location ($24,975), roughly 30 people per venue over the weekend.

So, while many movies make $25 million in their opening weekends (even when they're absolutely terrible), this crap couldn't make $25,000. That's what you call sweet justice, my friends...

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Finally!

Film and television writers voted to lift their 14-week-old strike against the major studios and have returned to work, formally ending the worst labor clash to hit Hollywood in 20 years.

Obviously, I'm happy for the writers and glad they're getting what they deserve. But, more than that, I'm just happy to get my TV back. I can't take any more reality crap...

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Parton postpones tour, blames breasts

Dolly Parton is postponing her upcoming North American tour after doctors told her to take it easy for six to eight weeks to rest her sore back. "Hey, you try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don't have back problems," said Parton.

I've got nothing but love for Dolly, but come on. She's been wagging those puppies around for 50-some years. Don't you think she'd be used to it by now? Plus, she could always have a breast reduction...

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Some people will do anything to stay relevant...

This week, Natalie Cole spoke out against Amy Winehouse's five Grammy wins, saying: "I don't think she should have won. I think it sends a bad message to our young people who are trying to get into this business, the ones who are trying to do it right and really trying to keep themselves together. We have to stop rewarding bad behavior."

First off, I think the Grammy Awards are as worthless and meaningless as "World's Best Dad" and the People's Choice Awards. Nevertheless, the Grammy Awards are (theoretically) for the best in music. Not the best behaved or the nicest. If they were, squeaky-clean garbage like Miley Cyrus or Clay Aiken would win every year.

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Animated 'Star Wars' movie coming to theaters

"Star Wars: The Clone Wars," an animated film, will open Aug. 15 in theaters throughout North America, followed by the debut of a television series this fall.

The nerd in me is really excited about this. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm all nerd...

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Haven't you done enough already?

Yoko Ono is suing rocker Lennon Murphy for having the same name as her deceased husband John Lennon.

What? It's bad enough that she ruined the Beatles and earned unmerited fame and fortune from Lennon. Now, she's going to sue a young, struggling musician over the girl's own name? What's next? James Taylor suing Taylor Hicks? Paul Simon suing Simon Le Bon?

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Finally, in "Who gives a shit?" news...

Emma Watson and rocker Johnny Borrell: Just hanging out

Janet Jackson: 'I might be allergic to marriage'

Drunk driving charge for Hilton brother

Spencer: Heidi's next video 'will blow people's minds'

Oasis singer Liam Gallagher marries longtime girlfriend

Until next week...

TS