What to Do WhenYour Baby is Afraid of a Toy

Throughout the 22 years that I have been a therapist it has never ceased to amaze me that so many people are afraid of clowns. For some, the fear is so great that they have a phobia and become paralyzed when near one. Aside from bridges, this is the most extensively experienced phobia my patients report. While many have no idea why they feel the way they do, often my patients relate stories of toys they had as a child that scared them. The one they remember most, the jack-in-the-box!

When your child is afraid of a toy it is because they have not reached the level of maturity needed to understand what the toy is all about.

You may think that a white face with a big red nose is cute but your baby has never seen anything like that before and has not had sufficient life experiences to even know that clowns are supposed to be fun. Consider what your child is feeling when you give them a toy like a jack-in-the-box. First nice music plays and the child feels safe and their defenses are down. Then all of a sudden the top flies open and this strange looking things pops towards them. They start to cry, you think it's funny, hold them for a minute and do it again. Your child is afraid of this toy and does not understand what is going on.

Toy makers put suggested age levels on most toys

The pieces may be too small, the concept to complicated, the edges too sharp or there may be some other reason for the decisions they make regarding age appropriateness. Try to follow their suggestions. There is absolutely no reason to force a child to play with a toy they do not like or want. Put those toys away and wait a few months then try again.

Some people might suggest that you use 'desensitization' to help your child get overcome the fear of a toy.
That would involve having them watch you play with it and enjoy it or having another child do the same. You would then offer the toy to the child and take it away if they reject it and repeat this until you accomplish your goal. The concept behind this is to have your child observe the safety of the toy while someone else uses it. But the child has to be old enough to even understand what they see, transfer the feeling to themselves, develop trust as a result and change their comfort level. That's asking a lot of a child; especially one under 18 months.

The best thing to do is to allow your children to mature at their own pace and provide them with the type of stimulation to assist with that growth. If they are afraid you will be inhibiting their growth, and creating fears that could be long lasting, rather than supporting it. Take your cues from your child. They will let you know when they are ready.