What Your Wife Really Wants for Valentine's Day

A dozen red roses? Terribly overdone and overrated. Box of chocolates? Not while she's dieting this month. Sexy lingerie? If the teddy doesn't fit, you're screwed.

Forget stereotypical Valentine's Day gifts. Instead, present your lovely wife (or girlfriend) with a token of your affection that truly says "I Love You": get her something that she's been hinting about for months (or didn't get for Christmas), relates to hobbies she's passionate about, wouldn't buy for herself or would make her busy life just a bit brighter.

After all, snagging a flower arrangement and a "Be Mine" balloon at the grocery store says, "This is all I had time for as I raced home in time for dinner on February 14." But if you put a little thought into a gift that matches your spouse's personality, needs or wants... well, let's just say it'll take you quite far in the brownie-points department in the weeks to follow.

Here are some suggestions to get you thinking about your personalized Valentine's Day shopping this year:

A Day at the Spa: I don't know one woman who would turn down a full-body massage, a facial, a manicure and a pedicure-or any one or combination of the above. Sure, a massage from you is nice, but an hour on a professional's massage table with scented candles and New Age music in the background... that's just bliss. To really impress, wrap up a gift certificate to a local day spa with some body lotion or bath products. (Not familiar with spas in your town; ask your wife's best friend for recommendations.)

A Weekend Getaway: If your spouse is the type of person who loves surprises, tell her you've arranged a romantic weekend getaway and you're not telling her where you're going-she'll find out when she gets there. Meanwhile, help her pack accordingly (swimsuit or skis, dress or jeans) and then play it up big. Book accommodations at totally unexpected destination, make dinner reservations at an intimate restaurant, plan fun activities for the two of you to do once you're there-from sightseeing to scuba diving. But if your wife can't stand to be out of control of any travel arrangements, go for another gift. You don't want her freaking out and miserable if you, say, plan a trip to Las Vegas, and she just wants to be in San Francisco.

Help around the House: Huh? It's true. If you're the type of guy who often hears, "Why don't you remember to take out the trash?" or "Can't you just empty the dishwasher once in a while?" a simple commitment from you-in writing-to perform certain household chores for a month (or more) would be a much-welcomed gift. Heck, it's cheaper than a diamond bracelet, and it might just turn her on just as much. Just be sure to follow through.

New Sports Gear: Whether your spouse is a mountain biker, runner, skier or tennis player, it's likely she's been coveting some sort of gear for her sport. Not sure exactly what golf club or heart-rate monitor she wants? Again, ask her best friend. Or you're always safe with a gift certificate to the local sports shop.

Books: Sound boring? Not if they're the cookbooks she's been talking about, the gardening guides she wanted for the spring planting season or the travel guidebook for your summer vacation.

A Gym Membership or Personal Training Session: Tread very lightly with this one. If you think your wife needs to get fit or lose weight, forget it. But if your wife has been wanting to start a fitness program, but felt it was just too extravagant to buy a gym membership or hire a personal trainer, do it for her.

Meal Prep: This is another gift that should only be given if she won't find it insulting. (Did you dis her dinner again last night?) But if cooking isn't among your spouse's favorite household tasks, look into buying her a session at a "meal prep" center. These businesses have popped up in most cities, where you meet at a commercial kitchen, prep ingredients, and assemble about a dozen dinners that can then be cooked or heated up at home. If you don't have one of these "cooking prep" services in your hometown, consider buying some entrees from a local caterer that can be frozen and then heated up (by you) as needed.

Jewelry: This is the one exception to the "don't buy a stereotypical Valentine's Day gift" rule. Bling never makes a bad present. But don't go for the diamond brooch or the heart-shaped pendant just because you saw it advertised on TV. Think about what your wife wears-dangly earrings or studs, silver chain bracelets or gold bangles-and buy accordingly. Trust me, if you put a little thought into what goes into that little gift box, you'll be rewarded many times over.