What is a Yahoo?

It is a term coined by non-yahoos to use when referring to the C average, 9-5 working, oblivious about matters not concerning their immediate, nuclear lives citizens of our country. They interbreed, raise children as mediocre as them, and mechanically fulfill the American Dream. They are easily influenced and swayed in the occurrences of: PTA meetings, presidential elections, infomercials, attractive, bright Internet pop-ups, and Girl Scouts selling cookies.

Yahoos put reindeers on their roofs at Christmastime, Rudolph and all of his friends. They have no political opinions because they either agree to what others tell them, or have no previous political knowledge to base their speculations on. They eat TV dinners while watching Survivor. Yahoos believe there is no Internet access in "remote" areas such as Africa and that New York City is the most industrialized city in the world. 75% of Americans are yahoos.

Their name is based on the fact that "they don't give a yahoo" about the rest of the world. America is the best, end of discussion. Many have never even set foot out of the US, which just affirms their ignorance when it comes to talking about global affairs. Work, the kids, and the bills are it, because the AIDS epidemic in Africa and violence in Chechnya does not really affect their lives.

Leisure activities of yahoos include insulting other races and spending hours in front of the idiot box, known to yahoos as the "Tee-Vee". Their minds are consumed by reality televisions, soap operas, and game shows with questions they do not know the answers to. Yahoos can be identified by poor spelling and grammar skills, mediocre, monotonous careers, and eternal credit card debt.

Subjects such as geography and high-level mathematics are beyond their understanding. Most yahoos do not know that Nepal is a country; much less that it is the location of Mt. Everest, the tallest mountain on the planet. Other nations slander America for being unsophisticated, with most students lacking geographical background. Yahoos are the reason our country is pitied by others. Without them, our level of advancement would be astronomical, enough to take over, the world.

But yahoos continue to weigh us down.

Yahoos and non-yahoos do not mingle. Non-yahoos cannot stand the presence of yahoos who pollute the surrounding air with unintelligence. The label of non-yahoos applies but is not limited to: college professors, most college students, CEO of large companies, Asians, leaders of important institutions and foundations, activists, priests/nuns, journalists, successful entrepreneurs, hippies living in the mountains, hippies living in the city, most musicians (and by that, I do not mean rappers), neocons, Oprah, and foreign immigrants.

Tyranny can be easily established in America since yahoos are in such abundance and they are so easily manipulated. There are not enough non-yahoos in this country to stop the election of an autocratic demagogue, so my theory/prediction is that it will happen in our future. But by the time that happens, China will have already taken over America and our grandchildren will be Chinese farmers by then.