What Yoga Has Taught Me About Parenting

When I started practicing yoga a few years ago, I had high expectations that it would keep my body toned and help me deal more effectively with stress and anxiety. And it has. Much to my surprise, the basic principles of the practice have also helped me in other ways, particularly in my relationships with family and friends. Here are a few lessons yoga has taught me about parenting.

There is a need for balance. Balance is a necessity when practicing yoga. Without it, you will wobble and possibly fall. It is much the same with parenting. Parenting is similar to performing a juggling act with a person balanced on your shoulders, all the while crossing a high-wire. Work, family, extracurricular activities, homework, and chores can overload parents and leave you feeling unsteady. I know it did me. To become the strong, steady mother my children need me to be, I learned - and I'm still learning - it is necessary to find a healthy balance between the hours spent on work and commitments, the quality time devoted to family, and the downtime to recharge myself. Neglecting any of those areas will cause an imbalance.

Slow down and remember to breathe. Yoga teaches individuals to take slow, controlled breaths. It may seem strange to remind parents to breathe, but I have found that when I force myself to take deliberate breathes in the midst of the chaos of parenting, disciplining, or just day-to-day events, I am more in control of my emotions instead of the emotions controlling me. Deep, cleansing breaths remind you to slow down and think before you act. It is much easier to deal effectively with kids and parenting responsibilities when you're working with a level head and a composed disposition.

Find your focus and be aware. Another principle lesson in yoga is to find your focus and become aware of your body. This lesson has carried over into my parenting by causing me to evaluate where my focus was in my life and how aware I was of my children and their lives. I now ask myself these questions daily: What (or who) is my priority? Where and on what is my attention focused? Am I listening to my kids when they speak or merely hearing the noise?

Flexibility is important. It's obvious that flexibility is necessary when practicing yoga. After all, how else would the body transform itself into a pretzel-like form? I've learned that flexibility is even more essential for parents. Kids are not predictable, and no two children are the same. Therefore, the same parenting techniques will not work on every child. In fact, the same approach may not even work twice on the same child if the situation is different. Parenting is a learn-as-you-go job that depends on your ability to stay on toes and always be ready to try a new approach. Flexibility is a job requirement for parents.

It isn't about achieving perfection. I have to admit, when I first started practicing yoga the prospect of attempting some of the poses intimidated me, and I was frustrated a lot. My body didn't want to twist itself into some of those positions no matter how much I wanted it to! Yet, with time and a lot of practice, the moves became easier. That's not to say my form was perfect. My legs still wobbled a little when I held the tree pose for long and my half moon pose was kind of crooked, but I was doing it. Much like yoga, parenting is more about the practice and effort you put into it than it is about reaching perfection. None of us are perfect, and there is no such thing as the perfect parent. Strive to do your absolute best for your children and your family, but don't give up when you fall short of your expectations. Just get back up and try again.

Resources:
"Controlling Anger Before It Controls You" by American Psychological Association
"7 Tips to Help Women Achieve Balance in Their Lives" by Parenthood.com