What's Up with the Calls for Content?

I am new to AC and from what I have read and learned, this site is really great. I see mostly really good things being said about AC, but I am a little discouraged when I look at the Calls for Content that show up in the My Account page. I have not seen one yet that I could do, forget about want to do. Unless I can think of 14 Venezuelan Bull Testicle recipes for Christmas I am out of luck, any original recipes anyway, because I know there must be tons already out there.

After reading an article or two on AC where the author creates their own imaginary, yet funny, Calls for Content I was inspired to write my own. You may have an article already written for these so if you do, submit them and they would probably be a real hit.

Jim's Calls 4 Content

275 Uses for Fabricated ½ inch Pipe -Build a hockey net, reroute the sewage pipe in the bathroom, if you have uses for fabricated ½ inch pipe then we want to hear them. Please make sure all of the ideas are original and have never been thought of, or used, by anyone ever. Also please use the word pipe 3 or 4 times in the title and about 8 times in each sentence. Pay: $0.07 USD

14 Gift Ideas for Flag Day - Know of a great gift for Flag Day, how about 14 of them? Please make sure all ideas are original. Please include the prices of the gifts and what store they are located at. Please also include the hours of each store for each gift, include whether or not they are open on Flag Day or any other holiday. Be sure to also include the names of all the employees who work at each store where each of the gifts can be purchased, as well as their Social Security numbers. Pay: $0.0004 per gift idea

How to Steal Cable and Get Away With It - Got free HBO? Please explain how you did it and where you live. Please also include a photocopy of your fingerprints and both palm prints. Please also include the names and phone numbers of any accomplices, or friends that were involved. Please also include an extra copy so we can forward it to the proper authorities. Pay: 3-5 Years (With Good Behavior)

Where to Find Crack Cocaine in - Know of any good crack spots in your neighborhood? Great, don't keep that stuff a secret! Share the love. Please include the beeper number of the top dealer in your area, maybe even throw in a full review of your block's hottest crack houses. Pay: $0.11 USD

The AdSense Cure for Mesothelioma - Write a 6000 word article, keyword optimized of course, for us to promote for Adsense. Please talk about how great it is that there are 15 year old kids building weblogs about Mesothelioma just to drive up the profits on their Adsense account. Be sure to include the URL's to all the useless websites about Mesothelioma. See if you can also find a personal account of some poor slob that just recently got Mesothelioma and searched online for a treatment, found one of these websites and read that a good way to treat the disease is to eat 4 pounds of pot brownies. Pay: $0.01 USD

I don't know if any of these article ideas will ever make it to the press, but I probably have as good a shot at writing these articles as I do with the real Calls for Content. They say that it is targeted towards you or a certain group that you fall into. What group would that be, the Idiots We Don't Want Articles From group? That would explain everything but I doubt that's the case. Hope you got a good laugh from this because I sure did.