What's the Common Denominator?

Mathematical terms, in general, do not excite me. While I somehow managed to survive mathematics in high school and college, it is not one of my stronger subjects. Thus when a student complains to me about the rigor of math-related courses and questions their relevancy to "the real world," I can often empathize with their plight.

Lately, however, I have found myself intrigued by one term used in mathematics that does appear quite relevant to the realities of life. Whenever I find myself facing a series of challenges that seem like they could have been avoided, or that may even perhaps be resolvable, my husband will ask me, "What's the common denominator?" Fortunately, this is one mathematical question that does not require that I pull out my old math books and dust them off to look for an answer.

In mathematical terms, a common denominator is:

"A quantity into which all the denominators of a set of fractions may be divided without a remainder" (http://www.answers.com).

If you're anything like me, however, that definition may sound a bit technical. I prefer the layman's translation:

"An attribute that is common to all members of a category" (wordnet.princeton.edu).

The latter definition is one that I not only can relate to, but also one that really makes me think about my own life and some of the challenges - as well as victories - that I have encountered. Many times, when we find ourselves facing a string of problems that are within our control - be it toxic or unfulfilling relationships, career woes, financial crises, etc. - the common denominator may be a lot closer to home than we think. Our attitudes, levels of faith and personal habits are some of the many common denominators that can be found in certain problems that we seem to face repeatedly in life. A string of broken relationships, conflicts at work that lead to constant job hopping (or even unemployment), illness brought about by alcohol and drug use - these are all possible signs that our problematic circumstances originated from within.

There are of course, some problems that we cannot control. Natural disasters, the death of a friend or loved one, an unexpected layoff from a job, or a freak accident are among the problems that many occur in life which are outside of our control, and these are typically isolated incidents. However, many of problems that we repeatedly face in life do have a common denominator, and it is up to us as individuals to examine these problems and figure out what that denominator is.

The same would apply to our victories in life. When we are victorious, it is often because we started with a dream or vision, set goals for bringing it to fruition, and employed certain strategies to bring it to light. Yes, there are people in life who will claim that success just fell into their laps one day without any planning or hard work (there are many one-hit wonders in the world), but the word "victory" implies that a significant amount of effort went into bringing about a desired outcome.

One of the first steps toward uncovering the common denominator in our problems is to ask the question, "Is it me?" and answer it as honestly as possible. This does not mean that we should automatically blame ourselves when something goes wrong, or assume that we are inherently flawed and therefore doomed to a life of misfortune. But asking "Is it me?" is a necessary step toward breaking the vicious cycle and leading a more fruitful and fulfilling life. Most likely, it is not you or I the whole person, but a way of thinking or pattern of behavior that is proving to be counterproductive.

I have found it helpful to study those people who have experienced multiple victories in life, such as longevity in their chosen professions, healthy, lasting marriages, and well-adjusted children who grow up to be amazing adults. Many, if not all of them have a common denominator that can be found in their success stories. Perhaps a positive outlook on life, a strong faith base, or a willingness to learn from past mistakes was the catalyst that led to victory.

When I think of the amount of work that it took for me to achieve even a minimal amount of success in math (and unfortunately, that's about the gist of it where math is concerned), I think about the times I re-worked the same math problems over and over again, praying for a right answer. I always wanted to skip the formulas and just cut to the chase. I will never forget the frustration that I felt and how many times I wanted to give up. My math teachers always emphasized that working out the problem thoroughly and learning the actual formula was even more important than coming up with the correct answer, and that it would be more likely to lead to continued success than just making an educated guess. Such is the case with life.

As I reflect on my own life, I can identify common denominators in my personal struggles. One such denominator for me is patience. A lack of patience has at times caused me to rush into situations that were either not right for me or, or run from things that were because a desired outcome was not occurring as quickly as I would have liked. By the same token, whenever I have mustered the patience to wait for my season, I have been blessed beyond measure.

We can all stand to gain a lot from examining the role of "self" in our problems as well as our victories. Seeking professional help in the form of counseling, or reading self-help books or even journaling on a regular basis are some but by no means all of the steps that can be taken toward finding the common denominator that links our experiences together. Not doing so may result in the feeling that we either "got lucky" when we accomplish something meaningful or that we have "bad luck" when we repeatedly experience similar negative outcomes. However, doing the homework that is required to avoid repeating the same mistakes or to continue achieving success is well worth the time and effort, regardless of how arduous the task.