What's Important to Argue About with a Four Year Old Girl

My lovely daughter is now four and a half years old. She is the youngest, as I also have a seven and a half year old son. When it's said that boys are easier than girls, it's absolutely true. Even at four and a half, my daughter is prone to temper tantrums and general stubbornness.

I have finally learned what issues are important to argue about with her and what I can let slide by. What school clothes she picks out are worth an argument. No mother wants to see her child go to school in stained or frayed clothing. But my daughter has her favorite shirts (the Hello Kitty pink striped shirt is #1). I have to hide that shirt now on school days in order to avoid a fight.

Next up on the argument agenda is whether or not to wear a hat on cold days. This one is hard to determine. We only have to step outside for a minute to get to the car. Once we get to school, it's a one minute walk from the car to the school. So usually we have no hat.

My daughter attends Montessori school. The philosophy there is to encourage children to do things for themselves. This includes letting them pour water from a pitcher when they are two and a half. Then when they are three, they set the table for each other during lunch and clean up afterwards. The list of independent tasks the Montessori school teaches is endless.

So my daughter must make her own breakfast each morning. This is one of the issues which I cannot argue about. If she is running a little late and I make breakfast, there is a steep price to pay in the form of a twenty minute temper tantrum (which makes all of us late for school and work).

Luckily, breakfast is usually the same thing each day. She favors frozen waffles with Nutella. This is the norm, so I have a few shortcuts. When I get up a 6:00 am, I take out the waffles and set them on the counter. This way, they are defrosted by the time my daughter is ready to eat.

Then she puts them in the toaster by herself and spreads on the Nutella. Occasionally she lets me help her with spreading the chocolate on the waffle. If all goes as planned, with the requirements described above, it's a good morning and everyone is happy.