What's Inside Mountain Dew?

Light green, refreshing and bubbly. Mountain dew is consumed by caffeine junkies, extreme sport nuts and connoisseurs of carbonation alike. Most Americans have done "the dew" at one point, knowing it contains boatloads of caffeine and a mysterious testicle shrinking elixir called Yellow 5. But what does the dew have to do with Cheese slices, Osama Bin Laden, and laxatives? This article cracks open the can, un-does the Dew and dissects what the Dew is doing to you.

High fructose corn syrup

America's sugar quota and high tariffs on imports causes companies to use the chemical known as high fructose corn syrup. Everyone's favorite enzymatized syrup - made from the corn mill. It's in everything, from Ketchup to Kool Aid and the average American consumes about 60 pounds of this sugar substitute annually. Mountain Dew contains 6.5 teaspoons of High fructose corn syrup. Don't count on this sugar impostor to get you high, many studies have debunked the notion of a "sugar high". Also, because natural sugar has a tendency to go bad, it also increases the shelf life, allowing you to store the dew until its ready to be done.

Sodium benzoate

According to the parenthesis on the can, this ingredient "preserves freshness". It contains Benzoic acid, which is the result of dissolving sodium benzoate in acidic conditions- it's an antimicrobial agent. This means that sodium benzoate prevents microbes from drinking all your Mountain Dew before you get a chance to. It also exists (in varying quantities) in car exhaust fumes, cigarette smoke, and even some berries. High fructose corn syrup is one preservative that has been linked to ADHD symptoms in children.

Caffeine (55.2 mg per 12 oz.)

The worlds most commonly consumed psycho active substance. Chances are, you have taken some dosage of Caffeine today. Caffeine is a distant cousin of cocaine and does wonders - increase concentration, war off drowsiness, boost metabolism. Mountain dew contains 55 mg of this white powder, slightly less than a cup of coffee. Although outside the United States, it's usually sold without caffeine.

Sodium citrate

Sodium Citrate gives Mountain Dew its Lemon-Lime. First used to stop blood clots, this tangy flavored sour salt does it all. It is also found in the infamous energy drink known as Red Bull. It also works wonders as a stool softener (laxative) and recently used by scientific chef, Heston Blumenthal, to make delicious cheese slices. Sodium Citrate is highly combustible in all its pure forms.

Gum Arabic

Grown in Sudan, this natural gum is used on lick-able stamps, cigarette papers, and of course, Mountain Dew's syrup. Osama Bin Laden once production out of Sudan. In 2001, there was a public outcry against Gum Arabic, many wishing to boycott products that used it substance. Although the State Department issued statements to the contrary many companies reacted to Gum Arabic's bad press. Snapple went so far as to alter their ingredient labels - changing Gum Arabic to "gum acacia". It also increases fizzines and plays a part in the infamous "Coke and Mentos" explosion many demented science nerds (like myself) have experimented with.

Brominated Vegetable Oil

This substance keeps your dew intact. Without Brominated vegetable oil your delicious dew would look like the Gulf of Alaska in the wake of the Exxon-Valdez. It keeps fat soluble citrus flavorings from separating from the rest of the liquid by keeping it all the same density. Bromine is extracted from sea water and in its liquid or vaporous form, it's lethal. Prior to 1975, you could make sedatives out of it but once when droves of overmedicated people were wheeled into psychiatric facilities, diagnosed as loony but actually suffering from bromism -- so much serum bromide that they couldn't stand up or remember their names.

Yellow 5

It doesn't shrink your testicles and it doesn't lower your sperm count. What is does do is give color to Mountain Dew without leaving you infertile. All Yellow 5 sources repeatedly debunk the Urban Legend that Mountain Dew does unpleasant things to your manhood. Now these grade school-ers can finally stop your heckling. The FDA's standard for intake of Yellow 5 (also called tartrazine) is about 1/10^th of a ounce, many times more than the content in a mountain dew can. The train doesn't stop there though. You could be one of the 360,000 Americans who are "Tartrazine Sensitive"; any exposure to the chemical and there are nasty side effects. If you're friends calls you up and complain of purple skin patches, feelings of suffocation and itches, tell him to lay off the dew, and the other thousands of products that contain yellow 5.

Sources:

Hyperactivity in Children: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1659835,00.html?imw=Y

Sugar High: http://www.madsci.org/posts/archives/2000-01/947564807.Me.r.html

Caffeine content: http://www.energyfiend.com/caffeine-content/mountain-dew

Gum Arabic: http://www.snopes.com/rumors/arabic.htm

Coke and mentos Explosion: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diet_Coke_and_Mentos_eruption

Yellow 5: http://www.snopes.com/medical/potables/mountaindew.asp