What's Mine is Mine and What's Yours is Mine

My wife and I hardly ever argue over money. I like to remind her that when we met I was "young, broke and hopelessly in love." Here it is almost 23 years later and I'm no longer quite so young, no where near as broke, but still hopelessly in love. Hey, one out of three ain't bad! In other words, you can't ague over what you don't have.

Not ever couple is so fortunate -- or perhaps so budget conscious. Consider this: according to catholic.org, the number one reason many couples argue is about money. In fact, statistics show that more couples argue over money than they do about sex or cleaning the house. I'm not sure when was the last time I argued "about" sex (as opposed to the lack of it) and cleaning the house has never been an issue. Come to think of it, maybe I am a lot more fortunate than I thought.

The site www.moneyallocator.com points out -- and rightly so I think -- that it's tough enough getting a grip on your finances when you're single, let alone when you're married. So it's important -- say experts -- to put your own interests first even when you're getting ready to walk down the aisle. Experts say not only is there nothing wrong with maintaining a separate savings account it just makes good sense. Or perhaps that should be cents.

Money.aol.com reminds soon-to-wedded that people come into the marriage with different values, views, habits, and symbols. A median age at which people get married for first time is around 25.5 years old for females and 27 years old for males. So it's logical that someone is already set in his or her ways - seeing as how for the first 25-27 years of one's life, they've gotten used to their "ways of doing things" which they are comfortable with. We may not want to admit it, but whoever controls e money also is wielding the power. So whether you are husband or wife, its important -- say experts -- to learn to navigate your own special, sometimes uncomfortable power dynamic.

1) Look at the "big picture" and plan accordingly: while a money fight might start over whether it was you or your spouse who overdrew the checking account -- or whether it's better to buy a new car or redo the basement -- day-to-day money tensions can be diffused by getting in synch about long-term goals. According to moneysenses.com, the little things are what cause the tension so deal with those while looking at the long term.

2) Plan your day-to-day money management: the most-common arena where couples experience financial flare-ups involves the daily management of the green stuff. And that direction is usually coming from the person with the cash. Unfortunately, this can lead to blame, criticism and a whole lot of resentment, so it's essential to agree on a day-to-day money management system that works for both partners.

3) Discuss your financial plan at a calm moment, not during a crisis: Of course having said that, the financial alarm bells go off in your head at the worst possible time -- like when the latest utility bill just arrived in the mail.

4) Explore financial beliefs: Women24.com feels it's critical to first get clear about what your individual feelings are about money - and if you can do so before you head down the aisle then all the better. According to bbc.co.uk, most couples have unspoken rules about how to handle money. And often an individual's true feeling get masked over during the "sharing process" so common to marriage.

Whoever you are, you surely know that it takes less time to spend money than it does to earn it. So why not take the time now that you still have the time, and discuss your financial concerns with that special someone. Nothing can take the luster off "true love" quicker than debt and unpaid bills.

Now if you'll excuse me I need to borrow $20.00 from my wife.