What's Often Overlooked When "Expecting"

Ah, so there's a little one in your future? Perhaps the little one is presently here and you've been so excited about "the arrival" that you've neglected to pay attention to a few "minor" details that inevitably come attached to parenting. The forewarnings of sleepless nights, teething pains, dirty diapers, and no more personal time have taken a back seat to the baby naming, hair and eye-color guessing, gender fascination, nursery planning, and yes, even collegiate and future expectations and dreams.

And Ye Shall Slumber No More....

When you've gone three nights without any sleep, or worse, only an hour-and-a-half's doze at a time, you begin to think of nothing else. As adorable as your little one is, you wish you could just watch the bundle of joy behind your closed eyelids. Don't babies need sleep? How is it that a tiny newborn, who supposedly sleeps 12-16 hours per day, has you awake nearly every hour of the day and night? I had to do some serious "time budgeting" to discover where my precious sleep and napping opportunities were hiding. I was trading in dinner preparation, laundry, general housework, relaxing baths, and daydreaming for even the smallest of naps. I was becoming rabid for sleep. Of course I heard, at least a million times, that the first six weeks of parenting are the hardest.

Adjusting is crazy during that time; not just for the parents but the newborn as well. It was difficult for me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. My eyes were so droopy, I could hardly see the hand in front of my face, but when I concentrated on focusing on all of the difficult changes my newborn daughter was going through, in just her few first moments of life, I was consumed with compassion for her struggle. I wanted to make things as easy for her as I could, and adopted that as part of my mission for the upcoming weeks; until I could regain some stamina and conquer more daunting tasks like effectively cleaning the tiny one's bottom without freezing her with cold baby wipes. I mean, she went from having constant nourishment and warmth, comfort, and no hideously bright lights inside her mother's womb to having to cry for a bottle, temperature changes, discomfort and overhead light fixtures with white lights.

Everything was new and foreign to her. I was new to the parenting thing, sure, but I at least new where I was, who I was, what I was doing, and had the physical capabilities of not needing mommy's milk every two hours. I'm sure baby's don't think about all of the things they don't know about, for how could that be possible, but I'm sure the first few weeks of life are no picnic either. It's like going from a luxury cruise complete with comforting, soothing motions that hypnotize your body into relaxation, never needing to get up or ask for your next meal whether it's been two minutes or two seconds, and having the thermostat set to "perfect" at all times, to being thrown onto land with no directions to the nearest restaurant, restroom, or hotel. On top of all that, your designated caretakers (parents) often look like they are just as confused and scared as you are.

Luckily, this phase does past. The magic number is six. Six weeks in, and a large portion of the beginning baby struggles are out. Well, that's not to say you won't still have some struggles, but you'll at least know a little bit more of what you're doing and won't constantly wonder how Life could have allowed you to personally produce more life. The sleepless nights you kind of have to muddle through. There really is no magic trick that fixes it in a night. Various methods exist with their fair share of controversy, so feel free to check those methods out. Just don't think that any method that sounds perfect for you is going to be on your newborn's top-5 list. More likely than not, the little one is going to need several days/weeks to fully adjust to anything new, because everything is new. That tiny attitude will come out full force as it realizes that despite all of the things on it's "To-Do" list, you've just added another big number. Stay patient and consistent, and give anything healthy, proactive, and good for your newborn and you a fair shot. Keep up with your pediatrician and be vocal about any concerns or questions concerning your little bundle.

Teething...

Once the sleepless nights have faded, enjoy the bliss that is the next few months of parenting. Even if you still have the occasional lapse in sleep, it will probably be at least a little better than the beginning; enough for you to focus on the cute-factor your baby exudes. Social smiles emerge, hiccups bring out the most adorably "I'm confused" expression on baby's face, and you can just see the budding ambition that envelops baby's existence as he/she tries to crawl for the first time. Everyone in public drools over your baby almost as much as your baby's drooling over the pacifier and teething ring. Teething ring?

And now we move on to the trials and tribulations of teething. The cutest "toothless mouth" is that of a baby's, and having one or a few teeth can be just as cute, but chances are, the little one will not have such a positive and gratifying experience. Neither will mommy's breast, if she's breast-feeding. Daddy's finger will also be a bit "raw" in feeling from time to time. If you've enjoyed all-night sleeping "like the good ol' days" for the past several weeks, you may start missing that again. Teething is a constant pain and seems to strike hardest at night time. We all feel the worst at night time when we're sick right? It's just really hard to get to sleep. Baby will be calling on you to listen to his/her anguish and be there for him/her during these late-night struggles. Of course, teething is an all day and night experience, but when you're already tired, it tends to make you crankier. Eventually, you and your little one will discover ways to soothe the teething pains, and once some of those more painful protruding teeth emerge, it should get a little easier-going... for a while.

Poo-poo Stinky...

The diapers didn't used to smell this bad, or did they? When teeth start to emerge, jarred baby foods and smaller-than-bite-sized mini munchies get their turn at the baby's plate. Now that you've gotten used to the unusual consistency of "baby poo," you meet "baby poo odor," an acquaintance you are quick to say is not your friend. Baby poo had an odor before, but it wasn't this strong, this pungent, and to your knowledge it didn't smell reminiscent of peas and carrots, but lo and behold - there's a pea, and yep, there's a carrot, neither fully digested, laying in the crevice of the dirty diaper. Dirty diapers aren't usually a picnic, but they certainly are no "public picnic," and you will try to find the most inconspicuous ways to swipe a dirty diaper for a clean one when at the mall, grocery store, or restaurant. Your car will become the temporary changing station, especially when you notice how unclean the public restrooms with changing tables are.
Your apprehension for public diaper changes will subside in time, and you will be free to move on to more struggles.

Bye-bye "Me-Time"

Parental privacy has now become a thing of the past. Unless you have a live-in nanny for your baby, you will most likely find it common to have a "potty partner" whenever you have to relieve your bladder. When separation anxiety kicks in for your baby/toddler, closed doors are out of the question. You will gain twenty pounds on your legs as you lug "your little shadow" from the kitchen to the living room. Showers will need to be quick while the tiny tot is preoccupied or napping, or they will be the reason for the next 10-20 minutes of fit-throwing and temper tantrums. The little bundles have no concept of time, so when you're gone, you're gone "forever."

For those of you with these days to come, heed my warning: It's tough, but you'll make it through. Once you're on the "other side" enough to look back at some of the things mentioned here, you can afford to laugh at them and yourself. That's what empowers you through even the toughest of parenting moments. Plus, the fact that you have the cutest baby ever seems to help out too.

Happy Parenting!