When Your Adult Child Lives at Home, but Doesn't Do Their Share

Many people have adult children living with them. It's a very common thing to have a child return home after a particularly difficult event in their life. However, this doesn't mean that your child should never plan on leaving. They should, without a doubt, plan on doing so.

I say this, because, I spent 10 years living at home after becoming pregnant with my son. My parents graciously agreed, after certain events in my life, to have me come home. It is what was best for my son. That was an extraordinary event in my life, and without their assistance, my son and I would most likely have ended up in an even worse situation.

There are things I could have done to get on my feet sooner, so the burden to my family was diminished immensely. The only thing I managed to do was go to school. I was determined to get some coursework under my belt so that I could get a better job in order to support my son. The problem was, however, that support wouldn't have been enough.

My son, as it turns out, is Autistic. Without the assistance of my family, there would have been no one willing to watch him while I worked. Excuses aside, I was not the only single parent out there with an Autistic child. Someone would have been willing to watch him, had I simply found him or her. That problem aside, I could have sought some type of assistance from the state to have us placed in decent housing. However, would haves and should haves do not change what happened. I spent 10 years at home before I finally was able to find someone that loved us both and I got married. That is not the happy story for everyone though.

My experiences aside, I believe that for those young adults that live at home, they should be encouraged to move out on their own when possible. If they have no children to worry about, then there should be no problem for them to move out. Especially, if they have a decent job and can afford a small place of their own.

It is my belief that if you are of able body and mind, you should be working or at least going to school if you are going to be living at home past the age of 21. I realize that work is hard to find sometimes, but I have known people who worked 2 or 3 part time jobs if that is what it took to survive. Sometimes, they even have children, so it's all the harder to cope, but they did.

My point is that if you are going to live at home, you should be working either full time or several part time positions. If you are not working full time, then you should be in school full time. There is no reason for you not to be. Once you turn 21, the government will give you money to go to school based on your income. You don't have the excuse of no money for school anymore. The whole point is that your parents should not have to feed and support you when you are capable of doing it yourself.

Parents, who allow their adult children to live with them, should make them pay rent. I don't mean some small amount per week. I mean that they should be paying at least 1/3 of the bills that you have to pay to keep your home intact, just as a roommate would have to do if they were sharing an apartment with someone else. By doing this, you would be teaching your child what it means to have bills and what is required to pay them. Children who don't do this are only hurting their families. Not intentionally, of course, but it is not right for an adult to be taking advantage of living at home, and not offering to help with the bills. Especially, if the child knows that his or her parents are barely able to pay those bills and anything they are able to contribute would be helping not only the child, but the parents as well.

These are just my thoughts. I mean no offense to anyone. There are, of course, exceptions to asking your child to pay rent, such as, a disability. However, for those who are able bodied and mentally capable, you should really ask them to do their share. Otherwise, they will "mooch" off you for as long as you allow it. I know that all parents love their children and want to do what's best for them. As a parent, though, you deserve to be able to live your life. There is nothing wrong with finally having the house to yourself. You worked hard for it; you should be allowed to enjoy it. This doesn't mean that if your child needs to come home that they can't, but they should do their share. Is it really too much to ask?