When Archangels Descended on Earth -- Part 1

Once in a while I get these visitations from "Archangels" who descend on earth with the sole and express objective of making Scribbler a millionaire. Unfortunately, their spaceships ALWAYS land on far away continents while this poor-me lives in USA. So, they send me e-mails. I am sure God has set up His email accounts with all ISPs in the world as his archangels always land in the most unlikely places. But He has refused all my requests so far to avoid middlemen and deposit his largess to my bank accounts. May be archangels like the one below also need some work to do:

A LETTER FROM BARRISTER *********

From: faculty (faculty@mail.****.edu.tw)

Sent: Fri 8/08/08 10:30 PM

To: Scribbler@AC

******* **** **** & ASSOCIATES
(******** & *********)
**********JALAN ******,
KUALA LUMPUR ******,MALAYSIA.

I am ******* **** *******,barrister at law.There is an information i will
like to disclose to you, there is a client of mine,who died as the result of
a heart-related condition in March 12th 2005. His heart condition was due to
the death of all the members of his family in the tsunami disaster on the
26th December 2004 in Sumatra Indonesia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004_Indian_Ocean_earthquake
I have contacted you to assist in distributing the money left behind by my
client before it is confiscated or declared unserviceable by the bank where
this deposit valued at $19million dollars is lodged.

This bank has issued me a notice to contact the next of kin, or the account
will be confiscated. My proposition to you is to seek your consent to present
you as the next-of-kin and beneficiary of my late client, so that the
proceeds of this account can be paid to you. Then we can share the amount on
a mutually agreed-upon percentage.

All legal documents to back up your claim as my client's next of kin will be
secured gradually and forwarded to you. All I require is your honest
cooperation to enable us see this transaction through. This will be executed
under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the
law. If this business proposition offends your moral values,do accept my
apology. Please contact me at once to indicate your interest.

Regards,
**** **** *****.(Esq)
Senior Advocate/Solicitor

SCRIBBLER'S REPLY:

Dear Hon'ble *******, Barrister-Out-Law,

My heartfelt thanks for deciding to shower me with God's choicest blessing of $19 million and hope you haven't selected anybody else on this earth for this largess. Glad to know that Wikipedia is so popular in Heaven.

Fellow members of AC will kill me, otherwise I would have thanked you for creating Indian Ocean tsunamis and would even have prayed for more.

I believe it is a travesty of justice if banks confiscate or declare unserviceable such orphan funds that God reserved for small-fry Americans like me. (Now, I realize why God created bank robbers - to rob the robbers!)

If you won't tell my wife, I am even willing to undergo circumcision to be the dead guy's kith and kin, but remember, that is something strictly between you and me.

Please don't be "gradual" in preparing and processing the documents. In fact, I entreat you to do it fast and sent it through the fastest courier service in the universe - GODSPEED.

(Shame on you if you, an Archangel, don't use GOODSPEED.)

As for my honesty and morality, God has been watching me every second (forget about minutes)of my life that He knows what I said and did all my life. So, ask Him about my trustworthiness and creditworthiness.

That God Himself sent you to me to help you rob a bank this LEGITIMATELY is proof enough of how "HIGHLY" the Good Lord rates my morals and values.

And you won't find a more reasonable and fair guy than Mr.Scribbler on this planet. I always go 50-50 to avoid future problems.

I should be the most heartless and thankless wretch on earth unless I add this with "political" correctness:

My heart goes out to the departed client of yours and his benevolent heart that conked out on hearing the convenient deaths of his family members in the Indian Ocean tsunami. May their souls rest in peace. I will always be grateful to them and you for the millions you are giving. I should have been a nice guy in my previous birth.

Convey my special regards to your Boss the God and put in a word for me so that He won't strike me out of his email contact list for future bestowals.

And I hail the Heavenly Order of Benevolent Barrister-Out-Law Archangels.

Please reply soon.

Sincerely,

Scribbler.

Note: Please stop sending this email to others on earth so that only I will get this $9,500,000. How come that S**of a G** made only $19,000,000? I could have got more.

Greedy as I am, I will conveniently ignore the fact that your email came from Taiwan though your spaceship landed in Malaysia.

And don't forget to GODSPEED!