When Do You Call it Quits on Your Marriage?

I believe that we live in one of the greatest countries in the world. Sometimes though what we do not see on the surface could be weakening the happy foundation that we base a lot of life on. I had experienced a divorce a couple of years ago and recently was searching online and came across some very sad statistics on our great country.

In 2005 in the United States there were 2,245.000 marriages logged according to the Department of Vital Statistics. Out of all these joyful occasions with brides,grooms,bridesmaids and lots of planning the out come was 3.7% ending in divorce. One would have to wonder why?. I know mine had some to do with finances and just not seeing eye to eye on a lot of issues we had never discussed before marriage. Marriage is one of the last great partnerships in America. It's the last great union and bond that two people could have yet it is spiraling to an all time high in separations and divorce.

What could be the heavy factors in decaying this foundation?. According to the census of family counseling there are many factors that contribute to the breaking apart of married couples. The first normally starts early which is jealousy. This could be over income coming into the home or the engaging with friends at events or outings. The second wrench in the works is finances. For some it is a culture shock to go from having small bills and extra money to paying much higher bills in the home with a family not realizing that your only fear is not having the amount of spending money you had before. Third would be infidelity. This has become a growing factor today as people get married on the spur of the moment. For some this is the love at first sight which later turns to incompatibility to share or find common interest. The other factors that play roles in the break up are some times drug or alcohol abuse or physical abuse.

In 2005 the National Census Bureau recorded 285.200.000 people in residence with in the United States over a tenth of these were married couples. There are a couple one hundred thousand marriage counselors currently employed in the U.S. that try and assist with the marriages that are in trouble unfortunately they are not overwhelmed with business. Could it be possible that the same split decision we make to get married rotates to the same split decisions we make to call it quits?. I could bet that any given day you could walk into a family court and probably could not find a place to sit. Attorneys are building firms just to handle the amount of divorces that go on each year in their locations. The hardest thing to incorporate into a marriage the the cost free task of communication. It is a simple skill to incorporate yet so many choose not to. Surprises are good for birthdays or Christmas or special occasions. But when it comes to finances and decisions dealing with the marriage surprises can sometimes have damaging results.

Is it wrong to live together for a year or so before tying the knot?, I do not know. It would make more sense to either date for a longer period of time or maybe live together share some bills and a little taste of stress from the couple point of view before committing to some thing your not sure of. By no means do I mean why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. I am simply stating that the marriage of two people should be a life long commitment through thick and thin instead of bailing when you feel like you've had enough. So many people throw parties to celebrate divorces and in some cases this is probably well earned, in others it later leads to a lot of regret time missing the companionship and support of a spouse.

In the event children are involved this could lead to a whole new set of regrets. In the end they realize they really had no input on the out come they just get fed all the reasons why. Marriage is not a job it is a commitment one that really seems to be taking lightly as the years go by.
I hope that we can start finding more reasons to stay together in this bond maybe marriage counseling either by a counselor or priest or rabbi.
It seems since 911 a lot of things have seemed to come apart our economy our trust in other nations our trust in our own government. The last great common trust we can share as a small part of this nation is the union of two people with a life long commitment to share better or worse and richer or poor and sickness and health because the love and bond of two people in marriage can out way the hardships if we try.