When Celebrities Miss the Fashion Boat

Most people would argue that the media is actually pretty harsh on celebrities who totally miss when it comes to fashion. I think critics have their times when they launch a targeted attack at a certain dress or pair of shoes. But, I don't think that as a whole we are totally being honest to our celebrities.

We really shouldn't let them go outside looking the way they do sometimes. We all know the game is about getting attention, and oftentimes they tend to stray toward the outrageous. It works for some people. But when it doesn't, we have a responsibility to our celebrities to let them know that it is not in their best interest to go out in public the way they are dressed.

I will stay away from the half dressed hotties who love to show off cleavage, belly buttons and legs. Of course, they get attention with their tans and their wonderful curves. But if we could see it, we would honestly say that what they are wearing is a fashion faux pas. The problem is we hardly notice what they're wearing, and who would want to put an end to that? So, dress as skimpy as you want. I am against the no nudity laws anyway.

It's when glamour model Jodie Marsh steps out in a red plaid dress and knee-high brown leather boots that someone should just say, "Stop! Where are you going looking like that?" I wonder how much she paid for that ensemble. Because I can grab the table cloth from a Bob's Big Boy, rustle up some boots and make a fortune. But, I wouldn't feel good about it because I would be sending long lost souls out into the world looking like they take fashion tips from Hee Haw.

Speaking of deranged lunatics, is anyone concerned that the numerous directors at Louis Vuitton have finally lost their minds. They have been making masterpieces for years and even developed a great reputation based on it. But, the kaleidoscope outfit they made Leighton Meesters wear and the reindeer rendition Madonna wore a few years ago when they both attended the same charity event held at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York makes me think that the support system at Louis Vuitton is standing around with their thumbs up their bums. Say something! Please! If you have doubts about an outfit, do the rest of us a favor. Put it in a box and send it to a small island in the South Pacific.

When Kate Moss stepped out in a fur coat that made her look like Cruella Deville, where were her people? Not only did PETA get the last laugh, but millions of Dalmatians clamored under couches everywhere. I hold her friends personally responsible.

Speaking of disasters, are we finished with the bloomers yet? They didn't work in the eighteen hundreds, what makes you think they're going to make a big splash now? Making Naomi Watts look like she's someone's grandmother doesn't seem to me like anyone's working in her fashion department at all. I don't care if you have upgraded them from white cloth to black cotton, it still doesn't work. Get off of it already! And who told you it was okay to wear bloomers in public anyway? Yes, we covered women dressing skimpy and we said we wouldn't remark about it. But, this isn't the same. Not even close.

Not to mention the see-throughs. See-throughs are great, but it depends on what we are seeing through. See-through arms, shoulders and cleavage are awesome. But, the complete see-through top with a granny bra Renee Zellweger sported in a formal dress sent out mixed messages. I swear if it weren't for the sheer beauty of some of these women, we would have had them committed a long time ago.

And Amy Winehouse! Stop it! Just stop! Find someone who actually cares about fashion and listen to what they have to say. I don't think I need to say anything else.

So, you wonder how someone like Lady Gaga can get away with it. She's outrageous! But, she's having fun with it. The meat dress she wore was not real meat. It made a statement PETA can truly appreciate. Plus, the Alexander McQueen look is a cult all its own. You can break your neck wearing those shoes and I'm sure some people have. It's fun! It's serious work coming up with outfits that outrageous, but they are having a blast. At the end of the day, they don't expect the average mom to get out of work and wear Alexander McQueen while taking the kids shopping at Gabriel Brothers.

The difference is that the fashion flops are serious about what they are wearing. They think they're trend-setting. Actually, they fell and bumped their heads! The problem is that it's all because their people are lying to them. Social suicide begins when you have Yes People surrounding you all day who wouldn't disagree with you if you were wearing a canvas potato bag from the neck down and a toilet seat cover for a hat. Insanity is when you start to wonder why others aren't wearing it too.