When Children Learn Curse Words: What Parents Can Do to Help Them Forget
Change Your Own Behavior and Ignore It
I have found this to be the most effective method when trying to get your child to forget something like a bad word, especially with young children. If your toddler or preschooler has picked up a curse word and is using it, they are attempting to imitate someone, most likely mom and dad. Cut the offending word from your vocabulary. Ignore it when your young child utters it. Often, they'll forget the word and move on to more appropriate expressions of their frustration. Parents who want their children to use polite manners model polite manners. It's the same for curse words.
Draw Attention to the Curse Word and Explain Why It's Inappropriate
While I think that the ignore it method can work well with toddlers and preschoolers, older children may hold on to a curse word for longer than parents would like. If ignoring the curse word isn't making it go away, consider discussing the word with your child, explaining to them why it's inappropriate, apologizing for your own use of the word, and striking a deal with your child. It's inappropriate for them to use curse words, it's inappropriate for you to use curse words, and together you can both attempt to stop using them. By discussing this with your child and working on it together, parents are demonstrating respect for their child. This team effort may be just what your older child needs to help them cut this curse word out of their vocabulary.
Wash Their Mouth Out With Soap
This last resort isn't a favorite of mine. But I do know people who have had a great deal of success with it. If your older child will not cut a curse word out of their vocabulary, and you know that you are setting an appropriate example with your own vocabulary, consider washing their mouth out with soap. This is a case where the punishment, if necessary, does seem to fit the crime. Dirty words don't belong in children's mouths, and washing their mouths out with soap can be a very effective solution to this problem. However, I suggest this only as a last resort, and only for older children who are continuing to use a curse word purposefully.
It's important to remember the age of the child when determining how to deal with curse words. The best solution, however, is to watch your own behavior from the beginning. As parents, we have a responsibility to teach and model for our children every day. What did you teach your child today?
Published by Kelly Herdrich - Featured Contributor in Health & Wellness, Travel and Lifestyle
Kelly has a bachelor's degree in elementary education, raises three young daughters, and recently returned from three years living and traveling overseas. Since beginning her freelance writing career, Kelly... View profile
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- Change your own behavior, and ignore the curse word when your child uses it.
- Strike a deal with your child, and work together to cut this word out of both of your vocabularies.
- As a last resort, the threat of washing your child's mouth out with soap may do the trick.
17 Comments
Post a CommentI don't think these tips really work. I'm a 17 year old step-brother trying to teach my 9 year old step-sister not to say bad words. I just met her because she came over from the Phillipines, and once she started learning the language she keeps telling me to " shut up " and calling me stupid and dumb over and over again. I think it's inevitable for kids to start saying bad words. I just can't seem to stop them.
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Good article Kelly. I have a story about my daughter and my husband. My husband NEVER cusses(or curses-lol)so one day when something had gone particularly wrong, my little 4 year old came running to me, saying, "Mommy, mommy-daddy said 'DadGummit!'" LOL! She was horrified, because it was the WORST word that she ever heard come out of his mouth! (Wish I could say the same for me...LOL)Thanks again for good advice!
Change & ignore, easier said than done but it does work. For me, it's hard not to laugh, which is the worst thing to do! Good article.
This is such a tough thing to deal with, but I have to say although it may be effective washing a child's mouth out with soap is a pretty mean thing to do to a child.
I agree with you. Ignoring it doesn't always solve the problem, esp. with older children. Some may not even realize it's a bad word unless you do draw attention to it. Well written!
I taught my kids at a very young age not to say certain words I also regulate their tv time very closely. I think the younger you start the better, children understand very early these days. I don't curse at all but my husband lets out a swear word every now and then and immediately I explain to the kids how daddy shouldn't have said that and why. they are 3, 4, 6 and 8 and understand pretty well.
Great ideas! Between TV and other children, your kids are bound to learn a few bad words. Great ideas for dealing with it!
Very good points. I'm not looking forward to the day that our daughter suddenly starts copying words. We are trying very hard to clean up even the occasional swears that we use now, while we can! I do agree that when they are little they will usually forget if it is ignored since they are learning new words constantly. If your older child is still willfully disobeying by using the words then by all means...go for the soap!!