When Your Clean-Cut Image Becomes Tarnished

Human beings are not perfect. Everyone has flaws and makes mistakes. Some oversights are minor, while others can be devastating. Depending on the seriousness of the blunder, a simple apology may suffice. However, when infidelity occurs in a marriage, the damage done can be more demoralizing because the trust is now broken. Only the person hurt or affected by the indiscretion, and the unfaithful spouse will have to work out the difficulties on their own terms and in private.

However, what happens if the person committing the indiscretion is well known and is constantly in the public's eye? Society has a tendency to put some of these individuals on a pedestal or assign them the title: "a role model," which can be a heavy burden to carry because high expectations are always placed on these men and women. At the same time, society is just as quick to knock these people off that foundation when cheating on one's spouse is involved, and the transgression becomes public knowledge. Suddenly, the floodgates of salacious details slowly come to the surface. Before you know it, the person's lack of judgment becomes front-page news and a lead-in for the six o'clock news. Now everyone becomes the judge, jury and chastiser, because the public feels betrayed. Yet, the person who committed the wrongdoing becomes irate because he and his family's life are no longer a private matter.

Recently, a famous and well-admired sportsperson admitted to having affairs with several women. How he could have thought these improprieties would remain hush-hush is far-fetched. Like an ostrich, he must have buried his head in the sand. According to one TV report, his wild ways started at the casinos in Las Vegas, long before he was married and gradually moved upward to the VIP room, where hosts are encouraged to do whatever it takes to get high stake players, like him, to spend their money and return to the gambling tables. Sadly, sewing his wild oats did not stop after his marriage. That popular motto, "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" did not hold true for this young man.

Many prominent and not so famous married men face enticements all the time. Some will frivolously put themselves in compromising positions, without giving it a second thought and will end up become sitting ducks by persons who will set the trap, bide their time, and exploit those misconducts. They will make their fistful of dollars, gain notoriety and strive for those fifteen minutes of fame, at the person's expense.

If privacy is important, and you want to maintain your somewhat clean-cut image, the first rule of thumb is to honor your vows. Surround yourself with people who will always watch your back and steer you on the right path. Not everyone who laughs and grins in your face, pats you on the back or shakes your hand is a friend or means you well. A true friend(s) will never encourage you to participate in precarious actions that would put you, your spouse or family in embarrassing situations. As a married man, try limiting your social activities with your single male friends who frequent nightclubs, bars and casinos. Misery loves company. If you are alone, know when to leave the party; you do not have to be the last man standing at social events.

Do not share any intimate information with anyone other than your spouse; if you do, it is no longer confidential. All it takes is an argument, a misunderstanding, envy or jealousy to rear its ugly head, and everything you have said or done in concealment might eventually become tomorrow's headlines. If you feel the urge to have an affair, nip it in the butt, be upfront and talk it over with your spouse. If a partner conducts a clandestine affair using text messaging, email and cell phones, he is definitely begging his spouse to catch him in the act.

Finally, if fidelity is not your cup of tea and having a harem or a woman in every port is your thing, then do yourself a big favor: Don't Get Married! When you play outside of your marriage, you will pay dearly. Keep in mind, adultery is illegal in twenty-six states.