When it Comes to Having Kids, Having Your Own Things and Space is More Than Important

When you were childless, everything was yours and yours alone. Your time was yours. You stayed out and partied until 3 o' clock, and slept until noon. Your food was yours, and your space was your own. But then life changed. It all started out so fascinating and sweet--you were sharing a bulging belly with a little bean--and then "it" happened.

Your bathroom time became a game of which-body-part-is-floppier as your toddler poked fun at your flabby, post-baby belly. (Ironic considering she was a part of the reason it became that way in the first place.)

My question is as a mom, should I feel guilty for not wanting to share sometimes? If I buy myself some adorable new shoes and an ice cream cone without thinking about the kids, is that a bad mommy moment, or am I just doing something I should have done a long time ago? I often feel guilty when I don't spend money on them, even if they have everything they need.

Once, as I observed my husband with our two children (ages 1 and 3), I noticed how he so effortlessly tells our children "No" when it's appropriate. I fed the children a 4-course meal complete with Jello for dessert before he got home from work, and needess to say they were not hungry at all. Once he sat down to eat, the little crumb snatchers ran into the room and started to beg. Immediately, he told them "No, you can't have any. This is daddy's food. Go play in the other room." And that was that. He didn't share, and he didn't feel bad about it. And I thought, "Why can't I be like that sometimes"? Whenever my kids ask for my food, I feel obligated to share, even if I know they didn't even want their own food. Is this just a woman thing?

How often do you think only of yourself? As a mom it obviously should not be all the time, but I think you should allow yourself at least one "me first" moment from time to time. So many of us get burned out from being everything to everyone, and it is more than okay to take out time for your own wants and needs. Being a mom shouldn't men forgetting about you. So next time you go to the mall, and you see that cute hand bag or pair of shoes, as long as your kids have everything they need, treat yourself! You deserve it!