When Cory Went Back Home: An Angel in God's Hands

I knew as soon as they brought him to me he was special. He had a head full of brown hair, while his sister and brothers were blond. He took right to my breast, when attempts to breast-feed my previous children were unsuccessful. He was a c/section , so we had 5 days in the hospital to bond. I needed that time. My husband at the time was abusive. As with my previous son, he wasn't there for the delivery and showed up to the hospital only once in the 5 days, and drunk. A male nurse, Mitchell Rigdon drove us home from the hospital when we were released. Mitch had been assigned to me during my pregancy, because I was a high risk

Two days before Christmas, Cory developed a cough. I took him to the emergency room, because I had no money for a dr and no insurance. The dr checked him over, said not to worry, and sent us home.

My mother in law came to visit us for Christmas and gave me a camera. I was finally able to get pictures of Cory.He still had the cough which was getting worse, and by the next day, would not breast feed. Again I took him to the emergency room. The dr said he had thrush, gave me a bottle with gatorade and when Cory had taken 2 oz, again we were sent home.

Another 2 days and Cory would not take the bottle, and his cough was even worse, so again we went to the emergency room. This time though they said he had pneumonia, but they didn't know if he was sick enough to keep. We sat in the ER for 5 hours. Finally the drs said they would admit him. We didn't have a phone at home, and only one car, so while they worked on getting Cory settled in a room, I went home to let my husband know what was going on, and pack a small bag.

I had been gone barely an hour when I got back to the hospital. In that short time, Cory was in intensive care. They had him in an incubator because his body temperature was to low.He had IV's and an oxygen hood covering his head. All this for a baby a few hours earlier they didn't know if he was sick enough to keep?

Intensive care was a scary, very unpleasant place. It was filled with nurses, and babies all with there own problems. Across the hall was a small room filled with chairs. It was the waiting room for the parents. It had been an old patient room. We all sat there waiting and telling each other what each of our children were their for. We took turns going to get coffee and sandwiches, while the rest of us waited for news. We spent New Years toasting with our coffee, and praying it was the start of our children getting well. We slept on a carpeted floor in another room, when any of us got tired enough we could sleep. We were only allowed 10minutes every 2 hrs, and when we did get our time, it was to stand helplessly in the backround while we watched the nurses take care of babies.

I was so happy, when a few days later Cory was moved to a step down unit. I went home for a few hours, to check on my other children, let my husband what was going on, and to get a much needed shower. The step down was a much nice place. I could spend almost all the time with Cory. I could feed him, bathe him and the nurse even taught me how to do his postural drainage. Best of all, for the first time since he got to the hospital, Cory smiled.

The step down unit was short lived. Cory got worse again, and was sent back to intensive care. The drs said he had all the symptoms of cystic fibrosous, but the tests were negative. Cory started bleeding from his rectum, and the drs said they thought it was a stress ulcer and needed to operate. The first time they let me see him after the operation, I could barely recognize, him. His face was swollen more than twice it's normal size. they said it was a reaction to the blood transfusions. Corys midsection was completely bandaged and a tube had been surgically put in his side to feed him. He was on a respirator, and had more tubes than places to put them. They had shaved a portion of his head for the IV's, because his little arms and legs could no longer hold them. They put a cup on his head to cover the IV, that made him look like a little bell boy. If it had been any other time, it would have looked cute.

It was back to the little waiting room across the hall, again to wait for my 10 minute visit, and again to stand in the background. Finally when I could no longer take it , crying I told the nurse she had 1hr 50min with him, and I needed my 10. They were more sensitive to my need after that. During their 1h 50min I sat waiting and listening with the other parents hearing the monitors across the hall. The ones that said one our babies were in trouble, and praying it wasn't our baby, and that whose ever baby it was would make it through.

Cory got worse everyday. he kept bleeding, and his heart was getting weak. Every waking moment I prayed God would make him well. On January 31st, I changed my prayer. I new Cory was a gift to me, and only God made the decision how long he would be with me. Now I prayed that if more time with me was not meant to be, that God take Cory now and end his suffering.

It was just a short time after that prayer, that the monitors across the hall went off, and I knew right away, God had taken Cory home. Just a few minutes later the dr came out to confirm my feelings, and take me to Cory. The nurses had placed a rocking chair next to his bed, and handed him to me wrapped in a blanket. The IV's and respirator tubes were still hooked up to him. They explained it had to be that way for the autosy. His beautiful sweet face was so peaceful. I rocked him, loved and kissed his face and hands.I told him how much I loved him, and said my goodbye.Then I told him how I always new he was special, but didn't realize till then, just how special he was. An Angel in God's Hands