When You Get Dumped

When you get dumped you enter the category of the fully human. After all when you look around you there are very few people who are going to walk through life without ever having been on the receiving end of a serious dumping. Common sense tells you that what you have experienced is normal and almost universal. What you may not realize right away is that being dumped is not a terminal condition. People recover from dumping, some do so with less misery than others possibly because they are aware of some of these five steps to a quick and healthy comeback.

Give yourself time to process. Life's emotional twists and turns can really throw you out of whack. A death among family or friends, a serious illness, the loss of a lifelong pet and yes, getting dumped can really derail your being. You may stop eating, sleeping, smiling but almost certainly you are likely to stop thinking rationally about what to do next with any part of your life. So the first and perhaps the most important step to take when you get dumped is to simply give yourself sufficient time to process what has happened. Fill time with things you can still enjoy like movies, exercise, the company of close friends or the peace and quiet of reading according to your taste. But refrain from making decisions about your love life until you have fully wrapped your mind around this major change in your life. Which brings you to the second step to a quick and healthy comeback when you get dumped.

Recognize the dumping for what it is. When you get dumped you usually know it, there's nothing very secretive about someone moving on with their life but not taking you along with them. But even if on the surface you know what has happened it can be very hard to believe it. By your judgment you are not deserving of such treatment. Without much difficulty you can probably list lots of good qualities that should have endeared you to the "dumper" forever. You instinctively feel that while you know you have been dumped you believe that a mistake has been made here. You can convince yourself that with just one more conversation you can probably lead your dumper to a swift recognition of what a silly thing he or she has done and then live happily ever after.

If you are at this stage you should know that you probably haven't given yourself time to process what has actually transpired. Do yourself a favor by taking time to come to a full understanding of this dumping for what it really is. No matter how else you might want to categorize it, no matter who is right or wrong, you have been dumped and that is that. The relationship for better or worse has been ended by the other party and the best thing you can do is to believe it. Fantasizing any other scenario probably is not in you best interest. This doesn't mean that moving on is easy. That's why you will probably need a healthy dose of step three.

Examine the Possible Scenarios. While you may know and even accept the dumping it's possible that you still have a lot of built up anger, frustration, sadness and confusion in need of venting . One way to clear out those feelings is to play through a variety of scenarios with a very close friend, out loud to yourself or on paper that can later be destroyed.

Go ahead and play through all the "what ifs", "whose to blame" and the endless "whys". Verbally exhausting all the possibilities though painful is a cleansing process that can help you to cope when you have been dumped, a process that should not be overlooked. If you don't play through those thoughts shortly after the dumping they will only be waiting for you to deal with them down the road. And you don't want to feel sorry later on which brings you to step four.

Know that getting dumped means never having to say you are sorry. The relationship is over. Whatever issues were between you and your partner in the past are done and finished with and so should be the guilt that goes with them. It's over, so rejoice at a new found freedom from the old guilts of the past. Enjoy a full day of not having to second guess yourself, back away from who your really are or be burdened with guilt for things you now may see as really not so bad. While love may or may not mean never having to say you are sorry, getting dump does officially obliterate the need for future apologies. It's over and done with. He/she has indicated a real lack of interest in you and your apologies, so feel the freedom and get ready for the final step .

Re-awakening to the joy of the world around you. While you have been so thoroughly involved in life with one partner there really has been a world with billions of people in it surrounding you. And while you were suffering from the emotional loss that comes with being dumped, there really still were rainbows, waterfalls, mountains, seasides all waiting to show their beauty to anyone willing to look.

When you have given yourself time to process what has happened, accept being dumped for what it is, played out all of your sorrow, anger and frustration and rejoiced in no longer having to carry a burden of guilt, don't forget to take the final step. There is a wonderful world out there full of interesting and loving people. Thing is they won't necessarily come looking for you. It's a wonderful moment that is waiting for you. It's finally time to wake yourself up and embrace the joy of the world around you.

Dumping and dumpers will come and go. You can have a path to take you forward even when you have been dumped.