When Faced with the Death of a Loved One
Is it Really Better to Know Ahead of Time?
When faced with the imminent death of a loved one or true feelings are often hidden. Our fears, our panic, and our emotions are tucked neatly away into a box inside of us that no one can see. We do not want that person to see our pain, our anguish, and our sorrow. We put on a happy face and smile; we pretend that everything is going to be okay. We try to become the shoulder of support, the voice of logic and reason, and the one who can withstand the tremendous blows that break our hearts. Only when we are alone do we open that box and begin to grieve. Only when we are alone do our true feeling show and release the pain. Only when we are alone do we cry, shout, and scream.
The death of a loved own is a vital blow to our faith and our inner strength. This is when we need to believe in a greater cause. This is when we need to believe that all things happen for a reason. This is when we need to believe that we are never given anything we cannot handle. We all know that death is a part of life. We know it is going to happen to each and everyone of us. We know that is it going to happen to everyone we love regardless of how or when.
So why do we act and treat people differently when we have a timeline? Do we love them any more or less because we know? Do we regret the fact we knew them at all because they are leaving us? Do we cherish our memories more because we know we cannot make new ones?
I have been faced with knowing a love one is going to die and a timeline of when. A pancreatic cancer diagnose gave us 3 to 9 months to prepare. Did it help? Did it make things easier? Absolutely not. The only thing that changed was when he did pass on I was too exhausted to cry. That did mean it did not hurt just as much. That did mean that I did not care. I was relieved that his pain was over. I was relieved that he was in peace. However, in all honestly I would have been better off if I had not know the timeline of his death. I would have been better off not asked myself everyday if it was his last. I would have been better off not having to lock my feeling inside and having to put on a happy face.
Published by Ryanick Paige
Ryanick has enjoyed writing for over 5 years. She has written about many subjects with her favorite being Television, Automotive and Reviews. She is a Featured Contributor in the Television Category. View profile
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3 Comments
Post a CommentI too watched a brother die of cancer, within three weeks of him telling us he had it. It was very difficutl. He was staying at my house because it was near the hospital and everyone else kept acting like he was going to get better, but I knew better. I just didn't know what to say to him! What do you say to someone when you don't want them to know they're dying? I felt your pain here.
That did mean it did not hurt just as much. That did mean that I did not care. This was supposed to say That did not mean it did not hurt just as much. That did not mean that I did not care. Something must have got lost in translation from Microsoft Word to AC.
Important topic.