When Faith is All You Have: How I Deal with Life's Endless Lemons

When I look back over my life thus far it looks like one battle after another. Sure there were times when I wasn't facing some hugely stressful challenge and I was simply having fun, but, more recently especially, I have faced my fair share of challenges and I don't think life is going to be giving me a break anytime soon.

The past two years have been something like a never-ending war between me and the devil. I've always felt that those people who face enormous obstacles in life are those who have a very important purpose. I always thought that if it appeared as though the devil was really out for a certain individual it must be because they have some really important God-given purpose. If my theory holds true then God must have some important job for me.

A little over two years my mother was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer. Less than a year after her diagnosis, and after a grueling battle with the disease she passed away two days after spending our last Christmas together. This was only the beginning of my battles.

With the death of my mother I found myself having trouble working enough hours to pay bills and keeping up with my school work. To relieve some of the stress I decided that I would use an emergency credit card. I was lucky enough to have the help of my boyfriend so that I didn't have to put all my expenses on a credit card, only a few bills that had fallen behind. I simply wanted to get caught up with everything to avoid late fees and such. But even a credit card wasn't enough to get me through the grieving process financially. I soon found myself in debt and still struggling with bills.

Then a few months after my mother's passing I was served with an eviction notice from my apartment complex. I had had an on going problem with them charging my for rent that I did not owe. Even though I had discussed this with them several times, both over the phone and in their office, they had failed to resolve the problem and so eviction papers were filed against me. Obviously with my financial situation at the time this was more that a little stressful for me. Then even after resolving the eviction problem with the office, they still tried to charge me for court fees.

While all of this stress is going on I am still carrying a full-time college students workload at one the most competitive public universities in the nation. College is stressful enough without financial problems and the death of a parent. While these problems were enough to make me want to throw in the towel, they were not the only ones I would face. My financial problems would continue to worsen, the grieving process brought its own challenges, and I would be served another false eviction notice before finding some light at the end of the tunnel.

While I now have a much more financially suitable place to live and have pushed past the worst of my grief over the loss of my mother, I still find that those unexpected stresses that pop up tend to stress me out more than most, as they remind me off all the unexpected stress I have already endured. So, what has gotten me through all of this? What did I hold on to when it felt like I had nothing? My faith.

My boyfriend and I consider ourselves high spiritual people. While we both have unconventional views on religion, our faith is very strong. The only thing that has pulled me through at times when I had no money, no mother, and more work than I could handle was my belief that I wasn't going through all of this for nothing. I believe that God has a purpose for me and that he will never give me more than I can handle. While the solutions to my problems may not be favorable to me, I believe them to be God-given solutions. I pray for a path constantly, and usually find that one has been cleared for me within a few days. I find that the more I pray, the more things are revealed to me.

I not the person who studies the Bible everyday before bed. I don't go to church every Sunday. I am not handing out flyers on the street corner professing God's love. I would never push my beliefs on another, I truly believe that everyone should have the freedom to believe what they want to believe. I simply pray and believe: I have faith.