When a Financial Crisis Forces You to Move in with Family

So many people are losing their homes, losing their jobs and becoming homeless in a society they never thought would let them down. For many it is a relief from the responsibilities of too much money being spent on homes and cars. For others it is a time when they are broke and the only way to begin the recovery is to move in with family for a while.

When you have to move in with other family members as an adult there are a few rules to follow to make life easier for everyone. The lifestyle change will effect them as much as yours has effected you and your own family so be patient, kind and understanding.

1. When you move in with family you are changing their lifestyle and routine. Try to be patient if they are a little edgy too. Be sure to thank them for what they are doing and make an effort they can see that you are doing everything possible to recover your own loss. If they can't see what you are doing then they have no way of knowing if you will ever move out or if you plan on them taking care of you for the rest of their lives. This is the time to let them help you by sharing what you are doing and asking for advise. You don't have to take the advise, but it will make them feel as if you value their opinion and are going to try to recover as soon as possible.

2. Do not try to change their routine in daily life. You may feel you are helping by cleaning the house spotless and moving all the furniture while they are at work, but maybe the like the furniture the way it is and they may be hurt by the over cleaning of their home. If you over clean it can be taken as an insult to their daily life. So before you do anything to "help" check with them first. Ask if they would like you to do something special while they are gone for the day.

You can ask them if they would like the furniture changed to a different position and let them decide where they want it. Do it the night before or when they aren't running out the door. The plan will make them comfortable and give you a way to give back. As for cleaning ask them to assign you tasks for the day so you don't over step your bounds. You can suggest things, but be gentle and do not insult their life by accident. You do not want to change their lifestyle to one you think they would like.

3. Make an effort each day to change your situation. If you are looking for work then get out there and look! Do not sit in the house and look at the newspaper complaining about all the people out of work. You are not all the people out of work, you are just one person that needs a job so get out of the house and look for anything you can do even for a short while. Don't limit yourself on your job hunting effort. Go apply for as many different types of jobs as you can do. Swallow your pride and take lower pay, a job you haven't worked before or one you don't like but will provide income.

4. Do not ask for special provisions unless it is a matter of health. If there are certain foods you cannot eat tell them. But be sure to ask if it is ok for you to cook other dishes for everyone. Do not insult their cooking or you might find yourself very hungry. If you are going to bring fast foods into their home you better be sure you bring something for them. This is their home and you are to share as much as you have the same as they are sharing with you. It's not easy to live with others when you are used to a life of your own.

5. If you are not paying rent while working at getting your life recovered then don't spend on needless items. This is not the time for you to have the car painted a great color, buy a new TV, get new clothes or buy large price items of any kind. You are to put every extra cent you earn into an account to get yourself and your family a home of your own. Be sure to donate some of your earnings to groceries and utilities if your are not paying rent. Their mortgage may not change but utilities, food and other cost will. So donate what you can and save the rest.

6. If you have children be sure they know special rules. No running in the home, quiet unless it is ok to play loud and respect always. If the home owner ask them to do something then make sure they know they must help on their part too. Nothing dangerous, just help when they can. For someone used to living alone without children it can be difficult to have them around. They may love them to pieces and would die for them, but it still takes an adjustment period when they move in with their families. So be patient, be nice and teach the children the same.

7. Whatever you do, do NOT fight with each other. Keep you disagreements in whispers and private. There is nothing worse than trying to help a family only to hear them fighting with each other or the kids. Do not be mean to each other or the children. If you find yourself getting stressed from the daily effort to survive try going to visit another family member for a couple of days or go camping. Give the homeowner some time to themselves again. But always offer to take them with you.

Try to keep it as light as you can, be patient, be kind and have a sense of humor about everything. Your main goal at a time like this is to stay positive and keep trying. When you feel yourself slipping don't be afraid to talk to the person you have moved in with and ask for advise or just friendship. It's hard to live with another family member when you are trying to recover your life, but it's hard for them too.

This is your chance to recover because of someone's kindness. Use this opportunity to save all your can once you are working and get a place as soon as possible. Take a place with reasonable rent and move out. An apartment is fine or you can invest in a camp trailer for your family if you must live with others yet. You are not saving to pay off all the bills and buy an new large home. You are saving to provide a reasonable shelter until times are better so move into your own place as soon as possible. With even the smallest of effort others will be willing to continue help when you need it.

You may be starting over, but when there is no other choice then you just do what you must and move forward. Don't look back at all you lost, because wishing will not help. Be glad for what you can do and make each new step forward a reason for celebration on a small scale. If you stay positive and celebrate each step forward you will bond with your family, spouse and children in a way no other time in history will provide.