When Funny Isn't Funny Around the World

Surely I don't jest. It's always good to have a sense of humor, but telling American jokes to people who aren't American can often mean a quick slide down a slippery slope.

With that in mind and before you try to be funny when you travel, consider the following:

+ Never, ever, tell a joke that has anything to do with religion or politics. These kinds of stories simply will not translate well -- no way, no how, no where.

+ If you want to try to tell a story that has a permissible punch line, do so with care by avoiding idioms, slang, euphemisms, double entendres, acronyms, and any sort of sports analogies.

+ Use short, simple words. Said another way, avoid proving you possess an extensive vocabulary since that fact will likely be lost on a person who is tentative about speaking English in the first place.

+ Speak clearly, at a slow pace, and with precise enuciation. In other words, don't try your best Rocky Balboa imitation For instance, if you are from Philadelphia (Rocky's home town), and you tend to talk like he does (saying things like "Fahgedaboutit"), take it down a notch when you travel, even if your destination is a place where English happens to be the first language. The number one reason this sort of speaking fails is because everything tends to be said in a single breath and that just doesn't fly in, say, Edinburgh or Essex, let alone Bali or Belize .

+ If you sense you are causing confusion, chances are your instincts are right on. So, when that happens, stop and retell your story using different words in a different way. If that doesn't work, end the diatribe altogether by offering a very short apology for not being able to make yourself understood.