When You Grow Up, I Hope You Have Kids Like You

I remember growing up, when my father was at his wits end with me, he would say, "I hope you have a daughter JUST LIKE YOU when you grow up". These words were spat as if he were casting a wicked curse upon me. Come on, surely, I was not that bad!

Now I have two daughters, ten and three. Maybe I was not the angel I thought I was for all those years. My ten year old seems to repeat the ONE thing I said to the ONE person I did not want to hear it, she has to debate EVERYTHING I say, and she got her first F a few years ago. I embarrass her when I want to kiss her and forget about it when I hold her hand in the grocery store parking lot. My three year old shouts everything at the top of her lungs to be sure she is heard, leaves quite a big mess everywhere she goes, and thinks it is ok to be naked all the time.

I used to HATE it when my mother would give me that ferocious silent wave when I walked in on a phone conversation because I HAD to tell her about the commercial I just saw for the best new make up ever. I would get so offended. But I find myself doing the very same wave when the phone rings and children come running, one to show off a booger she fished for and caught PROUDLY, the other to fill me in on the latest VERY IMPORTANT fifth grade gossip! HMM, why DO they come as soon as I start a conversation WORTH having? Why can't they interrupt me with such urgent business when the lady selling the magazines calls me? I swear, they have a special radar, and it gets better with age.

And why is it that every time I close the bathroom door, I am the most IMPORTANT person in the house? This does not happen to Daddy, and it does not matter what I am doing there, all privacy issues are out the window! I thought my mom liked the company when I did that!!!!!!!! Some of our best talks were in that bathroom.

When my daughter came home with an F on her report card, I was so upset. What was wrong? Did she need glasses? Was she paying attention? Did she need extra help? I went through every scenario, and was terrified when I remembered why I got an F at that age....of course, it was all my mom's fault. Had to be, right? I mean, I went to school every day...that was not good enough for those people? But now I know....like my mother knew, my daughter just was not trying hard enough.....and all those times I heard "I know you can do better" and was so annoyed by it, well, I am saying the exact same thing to my baby girl. HMMMM, interesting how many things are no longer my mother's fault now that I am the mom.

I never understood why my mom would get so upset when I wanted to do things on my own. I thought she would be so proud. Then, I realized one day she IS proud. But with every thing I learned to do on my own, she had to let go a little more. Now I know the mix of pride and pain you get when your child shows independence, from their first steps alone to their first sleepover, without getting even a little homesick.

So, my mother hears the kids in the background when she calls, screaming to say hi and arguing with each other, and I get the occasional "I told you so", and the even worse, "I remember when you were EXACTLY like that". Boy, she LOVES saying that one! HMM, I wasn't really that bad, was I? My father must be laughing in Heaven every time my daughter begs for that toy I said no to thrity times already, and I have to feed the dog and the guinea pigs, because that was forgotten...AGAIN!

But then I look at my daughters. My three year old climbs into my bed almost every morning to cuddle and I just watch her. Her soft eyelashes fan out over her chubby rosy cheeks like God painted them there, and the dark blond hair with curls at the end surrounds her little face like a halo. I can not imagine my life without seeing her face every day. My ten year old, wow, what a gorgeous young woman. She has olive skin with beautiful hair and eyelashes every woman wishes for. The magnificent and giving heart that lies inside can only be explained as my gift from God. Again, I can not imaginy my life without seeing her and hugging her every day. She is so sweet and giving, and I burst with pride every day watching her. The pure love and trust that they give is incredible, and I am humbled by them.

Even though they can fight like cats and dogs, I catch them doing nice things for each other all the time. They kiss each other's boo-boos, and play hide and seek, they watch out for each other in a way that only sisters will understand.

Just today, they were outside playing in the snow and when they came in, it melted my heart when I saw them. Sitting in the living room, watching Rudolph the Red Nosed Raindeer all cuddled up on the big recliner with a bowl of popcorn. My ten year old checks the temperature of her little sister's hot chocolate and explains to her she is not stealing it, she just doesn't want her to burn her mouth.

The baby said "thank you sissy" and at that very moment, I realized, no, I prayed, that my two daughters will have children JUST LIKE THEM.