When a Job Becomes so Much More

Her hands, delicate and soft, chilled by the cold crisp morning air. His, rugged and calloused, from years of course work. Reaching down around her from behind, he gently cups her hands inside his. Carefully rubbing back and forth, round and round, as he works to return circulation and warmth to hands much smaller than his own.

She smiles, tilting her head upwards to look into his eyes. As comfort slowly returns she leans her head gently against his arm. Tightening her grip, while wrapping all the fingers of her small hand tightly around a single digit of his, she holds onto him. Leaning down, without disturbing her grip on his hands, he brings his arms closer together, giving her the good morning hug she has come to expect.

A moment repeated daily, over a period of years. Originating in the long cold months of winter, when dangerous temperatures created the need. Now it's a morning ritual, no longer warding off discomfort or frostbite. With warm weather abounding, friendship, affection, and a few stolen moments provide a chance to share a bit of conversation.

Never being alone, they still manage to remove themselves from those around them. Private snippets of news, personal tidbits of their lives important only to the two of them, are shared as if sitting together at a small corner table in a quaint café.

When he first spoke to her years ago, commenting on her pretty smile, there was no indication that their's would be more than a casual passing. Being brought together routinely, on a daily basis, changed all that.

They ride together now, for the most part separated by the crowd of people noisily chattering away. She the back seat passenger and he the front seat driver, a reflection in the rear view mirror acting as their own private conduit. Looking between those around her, she can see his eyes glance her way. His smile telling her he is aware of her presence.

He raises his right hand to the mirror, curling his little finger as if to wave. It's their secret code, a subtle message she immediately receives and acknowledges with an exuberant grin that causes her eyes to close. That little signal closes the distance between them. They become one, together but apart for they are of two different worlds.

Society keeps them apart, held at arms length. For them, being together would be the natural choice. Comfortable as companions, they talk of many subjects. Family happenings, personal activities, all of life trials and tribulations they share. Blind to each others physical short comings, their mutual attraction is often noticed and commented on by friends and those around them. She is his Princess, and he her knight in shining armor. None the less beyond this daily commute they must continue separate lives, for there are regulations and rules that must be upheld. Anything more would be unacceptable, inappropriate, condemned by the rest of the world.

Is it a race issue that keeps them apart? Are they of two so different cultures that this is an impossible situation? No, it is a different label that separates them. It is the caste system created between the developmentally disabled and so called normal people that keeps them apart.

She, protected and cared for by a hoard of well meaning people. Her physical infirmities requiring around the clock attention. Confined to a wheel chair, with but one arm and hand being of much use, the simplest of tasks requiring enormous effort. That one arm has the strength of Atlas, when she wants to pull you close and give you a big hug. He has been the lucky recipient of her hearty grasp many times.

Yet she smiles, big infectious grins that encompass her entire being. Always happy, her glowing face absolutely lights up just at the sight of him. Once asked why she is so happy all the time? Her simple straight forward answer spoke volumes. I choose to be happy...

He is much older than her, generations separate them. From the start he admired her spunk. A pretty young woman, wise beyond her years. All she wished was for someone special to accept her for who she is. Someone who could see past the wheel chair, past her inability to run and experience life on the same level as her peers.

So many times possible suitors would shortly lose interest. Not being able to adjust to her very restricted physical abilities, combined with their own limited understanding. A common situation among those living on the other side of the tracks of life.

He saw her loneliness, her isolation, even her rejection. She became his mission. This beautiful young person who has lived a life of never ending medical issues, repeated surgeries, and the sad disappointment of seeing those around her cycle in and out of her life.

Her staff of caregivers, all friendly compassionate women, usually not far removed from her own age group. All kept somewhat at a distance. She has learned time and time again that friendships don't last. These well meaning people are all here today and gone tomorrow. Some last six months, seldom do they stay on for more than a year.

On the job it's a work relationship. She needs to produce, it gives her self worth. She enjoys her days, but they have expectations. That's the role of employer over employee, no matter what your station in life.

He expects nothing from her. Her time on the bus is her own, to do with as she chooses. At first she slept, sound, hard, dead to the world sleep. Her head bobbing up and down, jarring with the bumps in the road as relaxed her chin would rest on her chest.

Slowly he was able to get her attention, bringing her into the day to day conversations of the other passengers. Before long this routine excursion became a social hour, something to look forward to. It was his vigil to assure her comfort and happiness.

Reassuring her that she was stuck with him forever her guard began to drop. Their friendship blossomed and flourished. In time they became inseparable, both eagerly anticipating their next ride together. With no desire to advance, or move on to different employment, he assumed their twice daily commute would continue on indefinitely. They would be together until his eventual retirement, hopefully a number of years away. This was how it was for the next 5 years.

It was not his intent to mislead her. He just enjoyed taking care of her, and being part of her life. It was a simple arrangement that brought pleasure to this odd couple from two different worlds.

But alas, no good deed can go unpunished. Economic conditions change, budget cuts must be made. Bus routes are to be consolidated to reduce operating expenses. Personal happiness and special attention be damned, she will be transferred to another bus.

He is sad, admittedly he let his guard down too. She means more to him than he realized, and the thought of losing her causes him much pain. Another close to the situation commented that as much as he can under the circumstance he loves this young woman. It's true, he can't allow himself to show it as much as he would like, but yes love is an accurate description.

More importantly he feels he is letting her down. Like so many before him, he is being forced to abandon her. This caste system will keep them apart now and from here on out, likely forever.

Life will go on, memories will fade. Trying to make light of their impending separation he tells her that she will likely move on and forget him in the months to come. Once again in a straight forward manner she replies, "I sure hope not".

One thing for sure, memory and thoughts of her will always be close to the surface for him.