When You Have to Move Your Family in a Hurry

In a perfect world, a family move or relocation would be allowed plenty of time to develop. We might even have months to plan the move, sell our existing house, find new schools for our children, make new friends and find just the right neighborhood for the new version of our life. Unfortunately, real life does not always give us all the time we need to plan a smooth transition when we move. There are those times when we only have a matter of a few days or a couple weeks to relocate an entire family. When you have to move your family in a hurry, there are some steps you can take to make the move a little more pleasant and a little less traumatic.

The age of the children will dictate how much you can expect from them in terms of getting ready to move. Expect that children who are school age and older will likely be very hurt and unhappy to leave friends and an existing social structure behind--especially at very short notice. If possible, acquire as many facts about the new town and neighborhood as possible before telling your child or children about the pending the move. This way you can give them tangible facts and information that they can begin processing as they adjust to the idea of moving. Give children all the information they need, but watch out for telling them more than they can handle.

Get as much help as possible if you have to pack and move in a few days or a couple weeks. You will need people helping you on both ends--those who can help you pack, deal with your existing house, make sure your children get plenty of attention and get their needs met--AND those who can help you identify new housing, arrange moving and look for schools and other institutions in the new town or neighborhood. If possible, turn things over to other people so you can concentrate on making sure your child or children are tended to and prepared for the move.

Consider the age of your child or children and what you can legitimately promise them about the new house, new neighborhood, new school, etc. Rewards and promises can be a strong motivator and help give children something positive to look forward to but make sure that you can follow through on everything you promise. If you promise that when you get to the new house, there will be a puppy added to the family--make sure that you make this happen as soon as possible. If a child is promised his or her own room, a pool, or any other specific detail or promise--make sure that it is fail proof and you can actually make it happen.

Allow for children to process their feelings and expect that they may have multiple ones when expected to move under short notice. Some of those emotions might not surface for weeks or months or they may come and go throughout the process. Make sure that there are systems in place to help all the members of the family get used to the move--whether it is a new church congregation, therapy, family members who come to help, or whatever combination helps the family to deal with a quick move and a sudden relocation.