When You Have a Negative First Impression of Your Therapist

Many people experience stressful life events and personal situations that drive them to seek professional assistance from a therapist or counselor. Usually by the time individuals arrive in a therapist's office, they feel frustrated and sad. Some are even desperately clinging to the hope that finally, they will get some kind of relief.

Before going to therapy, some people might imagine what it will be like: what the therapist will ask or how the therapist will look or behave. Perhaps you've seen examples of therapist sessions on television or in movies. You wonder if your experience will be the same as the show portrayed.

You might experience relief when the session ends. As you exit, you recognize you have some negative feelings about the therapist. You aren't sure you liked her. After all, do all therapists ask all those questions? Or you wonder if it's customary for a counselor to sit quietly, putting the weight of the session on you.

Some people might even consider not returning to the therapist. However, when they consider that they've finally gotten to an expert to get some help, they think maybe they should hang in there and see if the therapy gets better.

So, what should you do if you have a negative first impression of your therapist? Review these suggestions on how to deal with less-than-positive feelings about your counselor.

1. Recognize the process of therapy tends to be uncomfortable initially. Especially for those who've never had therapy, it can be uncomfortable or even scary to talk with a professional you haven't met before.

2. Remember that it's the counselor's job to make inquiries so she can assess your condition. That's the reason for all the questions.

3. It's important to know that different therapists have different approaches. Some sit quietly and listen while others are more interactive.

4. Tell yourself it's normal to feel a little guarded and hesitant about revealing right away everything that's bothering you. In therapy, you're asked to share your most closely guarded secrets in the process of developing insight and awareness into what's troubling you. When you realize the counselor can best help you if you provide open, honest information, you'll be more likely to open up.

5. Give yourself a break. Taking part in therapy takes a lot of guts and fortitude. You might even want to compliment yourself on following through with the appointment.

6. Give the therapist a break. After all, the therapeutic experience might seem strange to you. Remind yourself that the therapist most likely knows what she's doing.

7. Realize that during the first session, you're just barely breaking the ice with the therapist. With more time, you're bound to make progress.

8. Vow to yourself to attend 2 more sessions to allow yourself time to adjust to the therapist's style and the process of therapy. Give yourself and the therapy a chance to work.

9. Decide to speak honestly with your therapist about your feelings regarding your therapy and how it's progressing. Therapists are quite interested in how the clients feel and are very willing to adjust their approach to meet the needs of the client. Many therapists will ask you at the end of the session how you feel about the therapy exchange. But even if your therapist doesn't ask the question, go ahead and let her know what you think and feel about your therapy so far.

Attending therapy can be very difficult, at least initially. If you can hang in for the first 3 sessions of therapy, you will then be in a better position to determine whether you wish to continue. By then, you'll have a good idea about how you feel about the therapist. Plus, you'll feel more comfortable in sharing openly and asking for what you need from the therapy.

Source

Professional experience as a licensed therapist/counselor.