When is it Okay to Lie to Someone?

Lying is generally looked down upon-certainly in business and personal life, it is considered highly disingenuous to lie to others. This is even more so the case in a court of law, where "perjury" can be a criminal offense-and in medicine, where the truth is supposed to stand for itself.

Despite these obvious statements, there are times when a subtle lie is necessary to "smooth things over", to save face, or to help the other person. There are also situations where a lie can save your life. In these cases, a lie should be weighed and then used if necessary.

Here are some tips for determining if a lie is necessary, and to what extent you should bend the truth:

"Do I look fat?" - The proverbial girlfriend-to-boyfriend question, when a lover or significant other asks about their physical appearance, you may want to use some restraint before saying whatever is on your mind. In fact, you may want to lie altogether, or frame your statement in a way that is still positive and encouraging.

When a boss asks for your opinion - If you are asked about an idea your boss has or a business proposal, you may want to give your opinion gently. If you don't feel like providing an outright lie, then at least cushion your criticisms with some positive remarks as well.

If in physical danger - If you are mugged or held at gunpoint, say whatever is necessary to remain safe and worry about your "word" later on. Preservation of life is more important than your word.

In mission-critical business transactions - If you are under a confidentiality agreement or if you have "insider information" on a particular stock, you are obligated not to divulge certain details about your company-even if a close friend or family member asks you. This is even more so the case if you are privy to classified information or if you work for the government on a top secret project or other initiative.

At the end of the day, we should try to be as honest as possible when dealing with our fellow men and women. But there are times when more important considerations come into being. If it comes between saving a life or telling the truth, obviously tell a lie to save the person. If someone is depressed and is looking for reassurance, don't badger him or her with a storm of negative comments all at once.