When Our Little Girls Become Young Ladies

Although my wife and I have no children of our own, we helped raise our two oldest nieces, Kassie and Ariel, for most of their lives, so they are like our daughters. With their father almost never around and their mother fighting some private demons, my wife's family and I pulled together to give our beautiful nieces some stability. As they grew up, I noticed they drew closer to me than anyone else during those critical years.

I'll admit it; I was never one for kids. They always got on my nerves, what with the noise and the clutter and the whining, and don't even get me started on the boogers and poop! Besides, I was too busy trying to be a rock star to fool with any little yard apes. Why these little girls decided to latch onto me so tightly was as big a mystery to me as it was an inconvenience.

Nonetheless, I tolerated them. I helped my wife care for them, break up their fights, try to answer their endless questions, and clean up their messes. All the while, I was unaware of what was happening to me. It seems this latent paternal instinct I never knew I had was awakening within me. I found myself thinking about them daily, and wanting to see them first thing when I came home from work. I was starting to feel a sense of warmth and pride whenever I heard them yell "UNCLE MIKE!" as I came through the door.

Kassie and Ariel really helped me learn what it REALLY meant to be a man (and it wasn't getting tattooed and drinkin' my buddies under the table like I used to think!). They taught me to listen to them, spend time with them, teach them, discipline them, respect them, and to love them. I soon realized that true manhood is about putting those who truly matter ahead of myself. In the words of football great Gayle Sayers, "The Lord is first, my friends (family) are second, and I am third".

When I realized this, I knew that my number one priority was to see to it that Kassie and Ariel grew up to be strong, independent women someday. The first thing I taught them when they were old enough to understand was that most boys will just want to get into their panties, and that they will use that "but don't you love me?" bullshit to do it. Ya damn right I taught them how to be physical; hit 'em in the nuts, the Adam's apple, the eyeballs, wherever they had to, and don't be afraid to really hurt that son of a bitch BAD if he doesn't understand "NO"!

I taught them that all teenage boys will have those desires, and that doesn't make them bad, but the ones worth keeping are the ones who will not act on those desires. I taught them how to stick up for themselves, and never to doubt that God-given intuition they've been blessed with. I taught them that they will have to date many boys for many years before they find "the one". Most importantly, I taught them that any boy who would ever call them fat, ugly, stupid, or any other esteem-killing epithet is not even worth their spit in his eye!

They know they have to work hard like their aunt and uncle, so they can be independent, and that any man who won't work or pay for a date is worthless and just looking for some dumb broad to support him. Most importantly, I taught them that when they reach adulthood, they will be strong enough to where they won't need a man. Oh, they may WANT one, but they know they can fly solo just fine if they have to. They are individuals, and should look for a man who is an individual, also. As my Granddaddy used to tell me, they are the captains of their own ships; only THEY control of their destinies!

That father of theirs still don't come around or call half the time. I realize God brought us together because we needed each other, but more importantly, they needed a decent male role model so they wouldn't grow up doing all the wrong things to seek the wrong kind of attention from men who don't really care about their hearts, minds, or souls. Because of a little positive male influence in their developing years, the chances that they will become strippers or prostitutes, use drugs, sleep around, get pregnant while in school, or get mixed up with degenerates have been significantly reduced. At least in Uncle Mike, they know there will always be a man who will love them unconditionally, even if they screw up in ways worse than he ever did!

When they turned thirteen and stood on the precipice of adolescence, I realized that I did all that I could do for them, and that the rest was up to them; that's when I came up with a pretty cool idea for their thirteenth birthdays. I gave them each a dozen long-stem roses; Kassie's were classic red, Ariel's white. I wanted to be the first man in their lives to give them flowers, and I felt it appropriately symbolized their departure from childhood into young adulthood. They aren't my little girls anymore, so the roses were also a way for me to let them go!

To all the fathers, grandfathers, godfathers, and uncles who have invested their time, knowledge, and love in the hearts and minds of the little girls in their lives; when they turn thirteen, give them a dozen roses. They will totally flip for them, and they will really feel like they're growing up. And they will always remember you as the man who gave them their first bouquet of roses.