When Parenting - Keep Your "temperature" in Check

Ever pondered the difference between "passive" parenting and "authoritative" parenting? Which type are you- the passive parent or the parent with authority? We'll tough lightly on the subject, and hopefully help you to evaluate which type of parent are you.

First, before you begin this evaluation, you'll need to take note of tones of communication between you and your child. Tones of communication are: tones of voice when speaking to your child, and your child's response level. Simple, just take note of: your tone of voice when you speak to your child, the mood/attitude of that moment, and degree of urgency in fulfilling the task. Also, observe your child's response for feedback on how you should adjust your voice of authority. Never overreact, but maintain your ground of authority.

Do you suffer from "broken record syndrome" (having to repeat the same thing over, and over again)? Or perhaps your feel your child has developed "selective hearing" (filtering out your requests and only choosing to respond to what is more appealing to him/her. If you've answered "yes" to any of these questions, then you are a "passive parent". This means that you don't carry enough vocal authority to get tasks accomplished. You need to become more assertive to motivate your child to respond appropriately; otherwise you'll create a false sense of security. Coping in the real world would be very difficult because you've fostered a weak vulnerability into your child. He won't know how to react when faced or threatened by authority, or even lack of authority. Inadvertently, your child will grow up to mirror your "passive" parenting skills.

Does your child argue or back talk to you, with disregard for consequences? Do you force authority upon the child by raising your voice or threatening to enforce serious circumstances, even at the slightest hint of attitude? This type of parenting behavior is not only unhealthy, but it instills rebellious behavior in the child. The stricter you are with your child, the more it's expected that he will rebel against you. This is especially dangerous because he may develop bad habits as he matures- psychological disorder(s) due to stress, criminal activity, or drug use habits. If you feel that you exhibit excessive force to establish your parental authority, consider taking anger management classes, to deter the relationship form spiraling out of control.

Successful parenting is- building an understanding relationship between you and your children, and nurturing a healthy relationship in preparation for adulthood.