When You're In Love: How To Build a Stronger Relationship

1. Give Praise: Everyone wants to feel appreciated. It's real easy to pinpoint our partner's negative behaviors and completely the ignore the positive. Let's say your husband seldom takes out the garbage and never helps with household chores. On the other hand, he willingly gives you a backrub, surprises you with flowers, and plans a short weekend getaway every two or three months. Don't focus too much on the things lacking in your relationship. Appreciate the little things that make your relationship special, and offer a "thank you."

2. Don't Discuss Problem When Upset: When angry, we tend to say a lot of stuff that we don't mean. Even if a particular problem keeps coming up and you feel disregarded, maintain your cool. Words can cut deep, and shooting off at the mouth might cause a few hurt feelings. If you want to keep your relationship strong, remove yourself from a heated debate. Take a short walk (don't drive), listen to music, or lock yourself in a room. Once you've cool down, return and discuss the issue.

3. Don't Point Fingers: If a problem surfaces, before pointing fingers or placing blame, take a long hard look at yourself. Relationship problems typically result from stubbornness and selfishness on both parties. For example, a wife may occasionally lose her temper and make her husband's life miserable. On the flip side, the husband might display a character flaw that provokes her anger. Openly discuss issues and look at the situation from the other person's perspective. How would you feel in their shoes? Are their feelings or emotions justified? Admitting our personal shortcomings is difficult. However, it helps us become better people, and it can definitely strengthen a relationship.

4. Pay Attention: Problems cannot be resolved if both parties are always talking. Even if you feel right, allow the other person to express themselves. By listening, you may discover that a fight was caused by a simple miscommunication. If listening is difficult, use a "figurative" talking stick. The person holding the object has the floor, and is free to talk without interruptions.

5. Make Time for Each Other: Even though children take a lot of your time and energy - don't forget about each other. You can stay connected with an established monthly or weekly date night ritual. Pawn the kids off on a babysitter or grandparents, and spend the evening with each other - alone.