When Someone You Are Dating Disappears

Sometimes in the dating world you meet someone and things seem to be great. They come on strong and fast and hard. They seem to be totally into you and lavish you with time and attention. They tell you how interested they are in you.

It creates such a nice warm feeling inside to have such positive attention and to get such validation. You find yourself wondering if maybe this relationship will be the one that will work out.

Just when you find yourself feeling secure and relaxed about how things are going, 'WHAM'. They go 'poof'. They disappear from your world. Suddenly they stop calling and don't return your contact. You mentally review your conversations and read your written contact with them. All it does is frustrate and confuse you more because there is nothing to indicate any problems.

Why, Oh, Why?

So, why did they go 'poof"? The simple answer is it doesn't matter. They will use whatever trivial thing they can conjure up to justify and rationalize their immature and insensitive departure; but the reality remains that it was THEM, and not YOU.

At the point when they go 'poof' all you can do is let it go and move forward recognizing that their very choice to 'poof' rather than show maturity or consideration is a clear indicator they are simply not good relationship or partner material.

Count yourself lucky to have found out sooner rather than later and to have further wasting of your time prevented.

Healthy Breakups

When people lose interest or find there is no connection, the mature and kind thing to do is to let the other person know in clear, kind, and simple terms; and end it then and there. It doesn't have to mean one person is irreparably flawed or a bad person. It just means it wasn't a good match and both will keep looking elsewhere. That is part of dating, and truly it is not a big deal. It is a blessing.

It is a blessing because each new experience inherently brings with it an opportunity to learn, grow, progress, and practice the skills we are learning along the way. It gives us the chance to really discover what works and doesn't work for us before we are locked into something permanent with someone.

It is up to us to recognize the blessing, and to take the positive lessons out of it.

It can hurt to feel the stinging rejection of a 'poofer'. It is just important to gain some perspective when it comes to them: remembering the flaw is in them, and to let it go. Tantrums, further contact, and hysterics are unnecessary wastes of time and just make YOU look bad. Why do that? Let them look like the weasel they are. Hold your head high and move forward towards a good match.

Here's a tip:

Pay close attention to how they talk about their formers. If they start talking about how they are 'ignoring' them and 'hoping they will get the hint'. .. WATCH OUT. That is a STRONG indicator of a 'poofer', and the odds are great that you WILL be next.