When Special Needs Children Grow Up and Become Abusive

For many, having a special needs child can be a difficult road to go down -- full of challenges and trying tribulations. When children are younger and smaller it is easier for many parents to care for them if they have a disability. As children grow older and bigger and enter their teenage years, situations can sometimes arise where they become combative with their parents. As their body's and emotions change, it can be a difficult and trying adjustment for the whole family. But what happens when the occasional moodiness turns into violence?

A co-worker of mine, Michelle has been a single parent for eighteen years. Her daughter, Anne was born with several disabilities, with the most debilitating being hydrocephalus --a buildup of fluid on her brain. A shunt was placed in her head to drain the fluid so she can survive and function day to day. Anne has severe developmental delays and low functional mental capabilities, therefore she will never be able to care for herself alone. Anne requires 24 hour supervision at all times due to seizures and poor judgment capabilities.

It has been an uphill battle for many years for Michelle as her daughter has had to endure countless surgeries and suffered several additional seizures.

I knew her lifestyle was a struggle but I was unaware of what was going on behind the scene. Michelle recently confided in me that Anne has started to threaten her and become quite combative. Anne is twice the size of Michelle mainly due to the fact that obesity is a side effect to her anti-seizure medication.

Even the simplest tasks can turn into knock-down fights and arguments. Michelle stated that her daughter had slammed her against the wall and put a choke hold on her because Michelle wouldn't let her eat a snack cake. My co-worker had to give in, even though she is trying to watch what her daughter eats.

When they go out in public to a department store, a bribe has to be put into place by Michelle so that her daughter will not throw a fit and make a scene. Usually this involves buying her a DVD or video game. Sometimes Michelle bribes Anne with food items such as candy bars and ice cream, even though she knows she is not supposed to have these things. This type of behavior is often referred to as a conduct disorder and needs specialized treatment, according to Medline Plus.

If Michelle does not follow though and give into her daughter, Anne will scream outbursts such as " I hate you!" "I'm going to kill you if you don't buy me some ice cream!" Anne will often times threaten Michelle with a closed fist. The public humiliation has taken its toll on my co-worker and they very rarely go out in public together.

I was alarmed when I heard her daughter was acting out like this. I would never have guessed it from meeting her. She is such sweet, loving young lady.

It has come to the point now where my co-worker is taking her daughter to a psychiatrist to try to learn the reasoning behind her daughter's behavior. One way to approach violent children and try to reestablish the parental bond is through parent child interaction therapy or PCIT, explains the NYU Child Study Center. This type of therapy works specifically with youth who showcase violent behavior. Through cognitive behavioral therapy and psychotherapy, they both can deal with behavior issues in a healthy, constructive way.

It has been an uphill battle but my co-worker, but she refuses to give up. She hopes with the help of anti-anxiety drugs and psychotherapy, that her daughter's behavior will improve.

It is hard for me to imagine what life would be like if I had to raise a special needs child. I have found that not all children with special needs can be cooperative, sometimes they can be a threat to the caregivers who are there to help them stay safe and healthy.

If a child that has special needs ever starts to act out violently, a good lesson is not to hesitate on getting the proper help that is needed.

"Child Behavior Disorders, " Medline Plus
"Parent Child Interaction Therapy, " NYU Child Study Center