When Starting a Romantic Relationship, Do Not Put Your Finances in Jeopardy

How often do you hear about a woman who meets a man, and it is love at first sight; they start to date, but before you know it, he is asking to borrow money? Furthermore, how many women will lend or give money to men, that they know right from the start, have bad credit or no credit, are always broke, unemployed, behind in their child support payments or cannot pay their rent or bills. This is not to say that men do not suffer from "throwing your money after bad" syndrome. However, this scenario seems to be more common among women who are willing to take over a grown man's financial obligations. It gets even worst when the woman has only known the man for one or two months. Before you know it, the man is gone with the money; the woman is in a financial bind and has to chase him down like a bounty hunter or end up in a civil court to try to recoup her money.

Why so many women put themselves in this type of predicament is a mystery. Sometimes it is the need to be a nurturer or the fear of being alone. When you lend or give money to a man that you just met and hardly know, you are doing a disservice to yourself, by putting him first and you last. When it comes to dating, many women become blind-sided by love and put their financial needs last and end up in a monetary mess.

A man of integrity and good character will always do the right thing and should never ask you for money to help pay his debts, bills or buy a big-ticket item. If he is financially sound and responsible, he will not need your money to make ends meet. On the other hand, if a man is looking for a personal withdrawal machine, or is out to be a moocher, he will let you know right from the start. There will be no pussyfooting around with him and will make his move immediately.

When you meet a man and decide to date him, and a month or two later, he is asking you for a loan to help purchase a car, wants you to be a consignee for a loan or ask you to put him on your cell phone plan because he has bad credit, what does this tell you about him? The answer is he does not pay his bills or is always late with the payments. Remember, you have only dated this person for a short time.

If an unfamiliar person stopped you on the street and asked to borrow money, you would keep walking or think twice before shelving out your hard-earned money to a complete stranger. You would apply the same situation to someone you just met and started to date. If unexpectedly, he asks you for money, you would treat him as you would a stranger. Before you give away your money, it is a good idea to get to know that person first and be acquainted with his financial history. Getting to know someone does not happen in one or two months; being acquainted with someone is a long-term progression.

No one is saying you should never help the love of your life. If he were going through a financial crisis, you would be there for him, but only if he has given as much as you have in the relationship.

Moreover, if you are going to lend money to someone who is not your spouse, make that person sign a promissory note. If the individual is not willing to sign that paper, he or she did not intend to pay you back.