When is it Time to Let Go

Life is about decisions. And decisions are hard to take. A scale in a relationship when you weigh the pros and the cons should tilt towards the pros. Every relationship has problems. But if there are only problems and no resolutions, then it's time to decide.

You date someone, go steady and then a relationship forms. When you enter into a relationship, it's because you have really liked your mate. So what goes wrong down the line? Like everything else it's easy to start on a relationship, to maintain it is what takes efforts. And it's a compromise. You compromise some, your lover some. Everyone has bad relationships. But then do not give up on it when in the early stages.

I dated my wife for a year before we decided to marry. And trust me my initial instincts were wrong. We have our share of fights, but we always make up in less than 2 hours. I have never had this kind of harmony in any of my earlier relationships. There are a hundred sites which are ready to tell you how and when to end a relationship. But if you were to take my advice, stick to the basics. If you fit into more than one of the below, then it's time to let go.

1. There are more arguments than kisses

A kiss is a very extraordinary thing. A kiss can heal, a kiss can forgive and a kiss can express. A relationship of any kind is based on kisses. And arguments are an integral part of a modern relationship. An argument also has capabilities too, but the exact opposite of kisses. If you are trying the weighing method, try weighing the kisses with the arguments over a period of time. If you think you are spending more time arguing and less time kissing, it's time to give you relationship some very serious thought.

2. There's visible ego

Most of us have some or the other kind of ego. But love manages to subdue it. Two of my past three relationships ended due to ego problems. And very conveniently, ego always manages to surface when there's discord. It's something very amazing about ego. Very small things seem to hurt your ego very bad. I had a heated argument with my ex because she had rearranged stuff in my closet. My wife does that every week. And I never felt the need to argue.

3. You prefer working late than do on a date

Now this is the litmus paper test. You suddenly have this dire urge to work harder. You prefer a working dinner rather than a candlelit one. You prefer sandwiches over exotic dishes. If you are in a relationship and you have been working late more out of your own wish than your bosses then it's time to sit down and rethink about where you are going with your relationship.
And trust me this test never fails. If you do not feel the need to go home and are in fact enjoying your time in office then it's time to put in your papers in the relationship.

4. You want to break free

Didn't Freddie Mercury too? And his reason was similar too. The feeling is very loud. You can almost hear your inner voice asking you to break free. You miss your friends, the time you had in the singles bar, the weekend beer? Well it happens to everyone. But if you get the feeling over a period of time, then it's time to act and call it quits.

I don't have the complicated question answer tests or logical diagnostic tests. But if you feel more than one of the above are applicable to you, and then it's time to sit down and think. Decisions are tough to take. And the regrets that follow a decision, hurt even more. Weigh out the pros and cons and follow your heart. The mind is very logical and looks to reason, and love never has any to offer. Follow a simple rule, if your heart tells you it is not happy, act quickly and get out.