When the Village is Involved in Raising the Children

Since the beginning of history, families have stepped in to help other family members in the awesome job of raising the children. For many children, that was their best shot at any sort of life. For me, the support from my family was a lifeline that sent me in a positive direction and gave me the opportunity to be as close to normal as I could get.

At 12 1/2, 13 yrs old, I was living in a situation, though I knew my mom and dad loved me, it was clear they couldn't help where they were. They were in extreme alcoholism and as is the case in addiction situations, the kids fall by the wayside. Our family had fallen apart, my dad was no longer in the house and my mom was struggling to cope. When she fell off the wagon, yet again, it was painfully clear to me that I was not going to make it, in those circumstances.

On a clear, sunny weekend, while living in my grandmother's house in N.C, my Aunt Diddle and my Uncle Grover, knowing that my mom was in trouble, said to me, "If it gets too bad for you, you can come stay at our house". The next day, my mom and I had the worst encounter to that point. I knew that if I didn't get out then, I was going to end up in a not so good place. Not only emotionally, but literally.

When I packed my stuff and started walking across the golf course to my Aunt's house, I wasn't quite sure what was getting ready to happen. They never blinked. When I knocked on the door and they opened it, they never questioned what they had told me. They opened their home and let me stay. A home that already had 3 girls. They still never blinked.

As the months went on and my family fell further apart, they also took in my little brother. Over the next year, they continued to foot the bill for us and continued to deal with the fight with my family on every turn. After much turmoil and struggle, we went to Kennedy Baptist Children's Home in Kinston. The fight was starting to tear their family into pieces and they couldn't keep putting their children through the problems. I understood why and in the end, it was the best decision for me.

My Aunt Diddle and Uncle Grover spent that year teaching me many wonderful things. She was the disciplinarian. Uncle Grover was the man of the house, but Aunt Diddle was in charge. She was always fair and you knew that she was truly involved and cared. She insisted on excellence but still let you be a kid. You had to work hard and contribute because she didn't allow for slackers. My Aunt taught me how to be proper and to have manners. She taught me how to dress and gave me a sense of being a young woman. She did not allow nastiness or unclean living. You better be taking care of your business all the way around. She showed me how to have strength as a woman.

Uncle Grover was the man. He was tough looking but was the sweetest man I knew. He was the rock and he carried his job well. He loved to be in his garden and he loved his hogs. He was an excellent carpenter and enjoyed his work. I have many fond memories of growing up around Uncle Grover, before I lived there. They always lived across the golf course and we could get there in just a few minutes. He had 3 daughters but always let them do fun things like having a go-cart and driving the truck. I can still see him driving his truck with his arm on the windowsill and us riding on the tailgate, going swimming. He taught me what a man really is suppose to be about. He worked, took care of his family and never wavered on his commitment to them.

My Uncle Grover passed away this past weekend. Married to my Aunt for over 50 years, they truly had a wonderful life. My Aunt Diddle, being the strongest woman I know is dealing with her loss well. She is once again showing me the grace and resiliency of a woman. The turnout at the funeral, though I couldn't go, was evidence of the kind of man he was. It was standing room only in the church. As a proper tribute, my Aunt placed two large tomato plants with ribbons by the casket.

I don't know where I would have been without the love of my Aunt and Uncle. If they had chosen to just standby and not do anything, I may not have made it to adulthood. I surely would not have done as well as I have done. Having family that cared enough to step in and help raise someone else's children is truly a Godsend. They continued their pattern of stepping in, by raising their grandson for awhile. Yet another example of their love for family and their commitment to not throw their family away because they didn't want to get involved.

It truly is necessary for the entire village to participate, though times have changed and families are scattered everywhere. My Uncle Grover and Aunt Diddle never flinched in accepting this awesome job. I will be forever grateful to them for that.

I will miss my Uncle Grover, though as an adult, I didn't have the chance to spend much time there, I will always have wonderful memories from my childhood. Memories that make me laugh and makes my heart a bit sad at times for their loss into adulthood. My Uncle Grover and Aunt Diddle are my heroes and I am truly blessed for their presence in my life. God Bless You Both and Thank You!