When I was an Airman's Wife

My husband was part of "The Third Herd", for 20 and years and 2 months he served his country and sacrificed a stationary life for one of an Airman, never settling in for too long in any one place. When I met him... he was living like a college freshman, (having 1 chair, 2 plates and cardboard boxes upside down for end tables). He had already served most of his time in the Air Force, and just had a few years to go. So when we married, I really wasn't ever relocated. We bought a house, and I stayed there during his tour of duties.

We were together for almost five years before we spent a Christmas together. I compensated by taking Holiday pictures for him, writing, sending him care packages, etc... Things just weren't the same though; my heart went out to him, feeling as alone as he did then. My first Christmas was a month into our marriage, he'd been gone since a week after we married.

He had access to a computer, but to email each other back and forth (live), I had to stay up all night...so I did. There was never a Middle East news story I wasn't glued to, or a rumor I didn't fear. The months stretched out for so long... I carried on as usual with the redecorating I was doing, trying to get the house ready for his return. I went to the gym, I traveled alone, ate out alone, went the theatre alone, tackled car repairs, did yard work alone. It was like being single again without the perks. If it weren't for my job at the time, I probably would have gone crazy with worrying.

He was attentive while he was away; I received letters nearly everyday, sometimes 2 or 3 in one day. There was no drinking allowed there, which he missed since grilling and having a beer was one of his joys in life... so his stay was miserable in many ways, he didn't complain, neither of us did. It was our life, the one we both chose.

Some tips I'd recommend for other spouses and soldiers:

*Get 2 mini cassette recorders, and spend time everyday talking about issues, or missing each other, telling stories, it doesn't matter... just the sound of your voice is what they crave. Send these to each other once every week or so.

*Try writing a short story together, start a silly tale and send it to him with instructions to add to the story, but don't finish it. Then you add some more, etc... sending it back and forth. Make the story as zany as you can, have fun with it.

*Take pictures of everything to send to your spouse, pictures of the house, relatives they are missing, make some funny faces and send them to each other.

We sent items back and forth in the mail, wrote funny stories, had many phone calls with time limits (by the time we finished talking about the bills, time was up, we rarely had personal conversations that didn't involve these distractions).

The goodbyes were difficult, and the hello's were wonderful ...the time in between was hard. On my end, I had a huge house to take care of, work , animals, grandkids to care for, house repairs left and right ,house got robbed, the electricity went out for days during an ice storm, I toughed it out at the house, alone. So many things I could mention.

On his end, he had Flies to contend with, swarms of them would hang around. He had a room mate which he couldn't stand, and never had privacy, due to the lamb he was eating there he got gout... he didn't have any of his regular buddies there with him. He worked out alot and would always come home beefed up, trimmed down, and overly stressed.

They always had some recreational things going on for the airmen and he did take part in bear wrestling, saw a musician or two, BBQ'd for his men....saw comedians. He got upset at Drew Carry, like they all did, when he refused to go on because of some minor mishap.

It was a strange, but good experience for me to be the wife of an airman. I'm glad he retired when he did, for his sake. I won't ever forget those years though. Lonely as they were, we made it work.

~Still loving my country~

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